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    dots Submission Name: Summer Breeze Haikudots

    Author: smartblond
    ASL Info:    18/F/IL
    Elite Ratio:    3.91 - 97/114/33
    Words: 12
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 944
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 90

       ok i think this is the right format for a haiku?If it's not can someone tell me what is.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSummer Breeze Haikudots

    Blowing through my hair
    Gently rippling the water
    Beauty gone unseen

    Submitted on 2006-07-02 09:19:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, I liked this. It was indeed a haiku and a well written one. I enjoyed the way you worded it and made it real for the reader. This was very effective imagery and perfect flow. Great job.

    | Posted on 2006-07-02 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      The standard haiku format is a triplet of lines containing five, seven, and five syllables per respective line, so you did get the format right which makes a change, most haikus are done in completely the wrong way and the authors just say 'Oh well I changed it to be more original' well fair enough, but then don't call it a haiku... well that's my opinion on it anyway. So back to your haiku! It's really good, it's hard to make something so limited sound good but you managed. With a haiku you don't have time for emotion and expression, they're all about description and imagery which you've got in yours. Basically it's cute, good job.
    | Posted on 2006-07-02 00:00:00 | by Sagirlie | [ Reply to This ]

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