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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Summer Breeze Haikudots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: smartblond
    ASL Info:    18/F/IL
    Elite Ratio:    3.91 - 97/114/33
    Words: 12
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 1176
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 90



    Description:
       ok i think this is the right format for a haiku?If it's not can someone tell me what is.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSummer Breeze Haikudots
    -------------------------------------------


    Blowing through my hair
    Gently rippling the water
    Beauty gone unseen




    Submitted on 2006-07-02 09:19:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, I liked this. It was indeed a haiku and a well written one. I enjoyed the way you worded it and made it real for the reader. This was very effective imagery and perfect flow. Great job.

    Catrina
    | Posted on 2006-07-02 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      The standard haiku format is a triplet of lines containing five, seven, and five syllables per respective line, so you did get the format right which makes a change, most haikus are done in completely the wrong way and the authors just say 'Oh well I changed it to be more original' well fair enough, but then don't call it a haiku... well that's my opinion on it anyway. So back to your haiku! It's really good, it's hard to make something so limited sound good but you managed. With a haiku you don't have time for emotion and expression, they're all about description and imagery which you've got in yours. Basically it's cute, good job.
    | Posted on 2006-07-02 00:00:00 | by Sagirlie | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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