Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Summer Breeze Haikudots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: smartblond
    ASL Info:    18/F/IL
    Elite Ratio:    3.91 - 97/114/33
    Words: 12
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 964
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 90



    Description:
       ok i think this is the right format for a haiku?If it's not can someone tell me what is.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSummer Breeze Haikudots
    -------------------------------------------


    Blowing through my hair
    Gently rippling the water
    Beauty gone unseen




    Submitted on 2006-07-02 09:19:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, I liked this. It was indeed a haiku and a well written one. I enjoyed the way you worded it and made it real for the reader. This was very effective imagery and perfect flow. Great job.

    Catrina
    | Posted on 2006-07-02 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      The standard haiku format is a triplet of lines containing five, seven, and five syllables per respective line, so you did get the format right which makes a change, most haikus are done in completely the wrong way and the authors just say 'Oh well I changed it to be more original' well fair enough, but then don't call it a haiku... well that's my opinion on it anyway. So back to your haiku! It's really good, it's hard to make something so limited sound good but you managed. With a haiku you don't have time for emotion and expression, they're all about description and imagery which you've got in yours. Basically it's cute, good job.
    | Posted on 2006-07-02 00:00:00 | by Sagirlie | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    109197

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Linger written by saartha
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Giving written by jjd
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    To written by SavedDragon
    Wavelength written by saartha
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Incubus written by monad
    Bond written by saartha
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry