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Roleplay | Viral news today | Music Theory

Summer Breeze Haiku


Author: smartblond
ASL Info:    18/F/IL
Elite Ratio:    3.91 - 97 /114 /33
Words: 12
Class/Type: Poetry /Nature
Total Views: 1573
Average Vote:    4.0000
Bytes: 90



Description:

ok i think this is the right format for a haiku?If it's not can someone tell me what is.


Summer Breeze Haiku


Blowing through my hair
Gently rippling the water
Beauty gone unseen




Submitted on 2006-07-02 09:19:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Wow, I liked this. It was indeed a haiku and a well written one. I enjoyed the way you worded it and made it real for the reader. This was very effective imagery and perfect flow. Great job.

Catrina
| Posted on 2006-07-02 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
  The standard haiku format is a triplet of lines containing five, seven, and five syllables per respective line, so you did get the format right which makes a change, most haikus are done in completely the wrong way and the authors just say 'Oh well I changed it to be more original' well fair enough, but then don't call it a haiku... well that's my opinion on it anyway. So back to your haiku! It's really good, it's hard to make something so limited sound good but you managed. With a haiku you don't have time for emotion and expression, they're all about description and imagery which you've got in yours. Basically it's cute, good job.
| Posted on 2006-07-02 00:00:00 | by Sagirlie | [ Reply to This ]


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