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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: An Ocean's Lullabydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Magnolia Steele
    ASL Info:    30/female/Northwest CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.71 - 2492/1825/232
    Words: 31
    Class/Type: Haiku/Nature
    Total Views: 1158
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 194



    Description:
       Another haiku, rather a set of two of them. I was thinking how pretty it is when the marine layer settle over my town at night and everything seems to calm down including the pacific ocean. I guess it is just a relaxing moment to observe and take in. So I thought of this. Enjoy.


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    dotsAn Ocean's Lullabydots
    -------------------------------------------


    The fog settles low
    over the vast ocean bed;
    Like a grey blanket.

    Lulling her to sleep
    as the moon bid all good night;
    Laxed now are her waves.




    Submitted on 2006-07-02 18:06:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      My my Triggie, what a band of admirers you have here - and with good reason you little kiten you - this write of yours is just about perfect.

    PB.
    | Posted on 2006-09-13 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      i think this was one of ur better haikus because the imagery was so easy to picture in ur mind's eye and i could really see fog serving as a blanket and the moon serving as a night light. another fave
    | Posted on 2006-09-09 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      i love when you write haikus, somehow they are your form of strongest poetry. They are where your vivid images burn the brightest and this is nothing short of beautiful.


    Swanne
    | Posted on 2006-07-09 00:00:00 | by Swanne | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this, the imagery is very strong. However I feel the second half is stronger than the other, and could even work on its own. Otherwise I thikn its very good, I've never tried a haiku myself but they don't look easy!

    Aimee
    | Posted on 2006-07-06 00:00:00 | by xdollpartsx | [ Reply to This ]
      i couldnt agree with swanne anymore. your haikus are beautiful and they arent that easy to write beautifully. but again, you have a gift. your haikus are filled with enough imagery and imagination to fill pages. very very nice.
    take care
    birdy
    | Posted on 2006-07-10 00:00:00 | by birdy5005 | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this is a wonderful haiku. Just beautiful is the imagery here and I really like how you have used the fog as a blanket for the ocean. That is very imaginative. And you included the moon here as well which is my favorite and the imagery in my mind is lovely. All that is missing here is the lighthouse reflecting this vision. But that is ok cause I have provided that in my mind haha! A very good haiku you have here. Just lovely. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2006-07-03 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      I apologize for my late comments on all your works. I have actually read all your new posts several times, but the stupid fluctuation in the electricity gives up and reboots the computer. This is the 8th time I am writing this:

    This is really good. I really liked the descriptions you used to create a beautiful picture in my mind. I have never seen anything like a Marine Layer. To tell you the truth, I had never heard of it until now. Though I did check and it looked really cool. Some thing like what you described. Anyways, I liked both of them


    Abbas
    | Posted on 2006-07-04 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]
      Catrina,

    I know and love that feeling of a marine layer as a blanket. You cature it well here. The ocean carries so many feeling and emotions. You capute some of the most subtle one here. Nice work.
    Chrystine

    | Posted on 2006-09-02 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]
      Ah, finally someone who can write a haiku! Good use of simile, and your imagery is very nice. I think everyone has already said what I wanted to say, so I'll just let you know I like it!

    Lulu la Feyne
    | Posted on 2006-09-08 00:00:00 | by Lulu La Feyne | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really cool. I've never been able to do haikus, not so that they sound good and make sense. I dont know, never had much of a taste for them. But these are really good. and its cool how you managed to have two of them, that go so well together. You captured the mood very well. ~Nichole
    | Posted on 2006-07-02 00:00:00 | by butterfly_chi5 | [ Reply to This ]
      Maggie
    I love this
    And I love the style of uniting haikus into one write
    As you know I have written a couple of them myself
    I do hope you are doing great
    I know with your positive attitude you are good
    I love the ocean myself
    For some reason I favor the Atlantic over the Pacific though probably because that is where I grew up and where all my early childhood memories happenend
    Once Again
    Another terrific write from you
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-07-02 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]


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