Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Your Nightmaredots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Faith_Disease
    ASL Info:    17/M
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 278/141/29
    Words: 119
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 876
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 918



    Description:
       I wrote this while angry so I hope it's still good and unclichéd, but the anger probably hindered me.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYour Nightmaredots
    -------------------------------------------


    Your thoughts of suicide were
    carved internally
    with my blood-stained hate.
    A disease clotted in your throat
    silencing your cries for help.
    Forced behind a shattered mirror
    with tears that never fall,
    watching my contagion
    eat your veins alive.
    Welcome to your nightmare
    where...

    I'm the mirror on the wall.
    I'm the voices in your head.
    I'm the noose around your neck.
    I'm the fear under your bed.

    Like a convict lead
    to the executioner's chamber,
    an infected mind
    gasping for lucidity,
    screaming prayers of mercy.
    Welcome to the aftermath
    where...

    I'm the sordid path to hell.
    I'm the angel stitched in death.
    I'm the killer in your dreams.
    I'm your last intake of breath.




    Submitted on 2006-07-02 18:11:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This poem just has something really cool about it that i love! it's on the favorites list! great write, nothing more to say!

    ~chaos~
    | Posted on 2006-07-29 00:00:00 | by whispered_chaos | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really good
    This write is incredibly angry but surprisingly you were able to capture that anger and put it perfectly to words
    That is not an easy task to accomplish
    This write to me would also sound very well matched to Music
    They are superb lyrics
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-07-04 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      cool good write, as you said touched slightly by anger but still very well written
    | Posted on 2006-07-02 00:00:00 | by Animus Custodis | [ Reply to This ]
      I can't get over how creepy this is. i might have to take it off of my favs. cause everytime i look at the title Your Nightmare i have to read again.
    dude it rocks so much. i wouldn't change a thing.
    Kudos....Major Kudos.......
    Still amazed
    Urs truly
    Heartless Cole
    | Posted on 2006-07-08 00:00:00 | by His goth child | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this one. You can see the anger in it a little, but what is the use of writing if you cant let out your emotions? The anger works here

    I'm the mirror on the wall.
    I'm the voices in your head.
    I'm the noose around your neck.
    I'm the fear under your bed.

    loved this part, i dont know why. it fits in. your words, for the most part, flow together well. good write, and keep up the good work. ~Nichole
    | Posted on 2006-07-03 00:00:00 | by butterfly_chi5 | [ Reply to This ]
      Creepy. I don't think I've ever disliked one of your pieces and that's a very good thing, and I love this one. The "I am" parts were what I liked the best. I think I'm going to add this to my favorite's list. ;)

    *tox*
    | Posted on 2006-07-07 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, that was impressive. It would make a hell of a song. Tell me are you into music any? If you are perhaps we should write some songs together. I am into the same sort of genre. Dark and creepy lol. That was enthralling, and invigorating. I was just hoping some music would sprawl out of it! It was great keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2006-07-13 00:00:00 | by winterdove | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, this was amazing and I didn't think it was cliché....then again maybe my opinion is a little clouded, I'm pissed as hell right now....but I loved this and it described exactly what I'm feeling, which actually is rare for me to want to hurt someone so badly just for what they said but honestly I can't forgive him, i hope he dies and I wish I could be the one to make it happen, *breathes* anyway I loved this and I gotta mention that I loved ur use of "lucidity" cause there were so many other overused terms most writers would have used in it's place, my favorite part would either be the whole last stanza or "Welcome to the aftermath" because it really reminded me of this one fleshfield song...well the words themselves reminded me of the title to "redemption [The aftermath]" but it kinda reminded me of "redemption [the rage]" except that in the lyrics themselves it's 'welcome to my rage//
    Welcome to oblivion" I'm not sure if you did that on purpose or even noticed it but that just came to my mind as I read it, thanks for posting...damn ok I'll post mine but it's not nearly as good as this, and I won't say too much more I'm in a really really dangerous mood actually I might chill first....great write
    love ya,
    ~jess
    | Posted on 2006-07-02 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      Great poem! It kind of reminded me of Nightmare on Elm Street (which were good movies). Your wording is so discriptive that I visualized the whole thing as I was reading it. I like writings like that. You have a great talent, keep writing! :)

    ~Cris
    | Posted on 2006-07-14 00:00:00 | by my_worst_fear85 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    109225

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry