Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: three stanzas and a cold pot of coffeedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: gjenkins
    Elite Ratio:    1.85 - 88/107/97
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1035
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 684



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthree stanzas and a cold pot of coffeedots
    -------------------------------------------


    these dumb hands wonít let
    me write today, I flail them into the
    discontent air; as foreign soil and withered
    dreams unite in my demise

    mannequin eyes watch from
    store windows, laughing at
    legless spiders---Iím not
    much use anymore, clever
    yes, but not much use.
    9-11 fleshed out on park benches
    staring at weeping birds as they
    fly over the syndromed society

    as the bombs hit
    targets of destination,
    I am strife, given name and address,
    I walk around
    the block a few times,
    then take it inside for
    something cool to
    drink.




    Submitted on 2006-07-03 09:28:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I liked it thins one, very good, i happen to like your writing style..i mean its unique its very genuine. Good write though, proves a point and still abstract...very good..keep writing and keep happy...

    -Anya
    | Posted on 2006-07-03 00:00:00 | by FarawayFeelings | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked how the poem started, the title and stuff, but as I read further and further, I got very confused of what the purpose of your poem was. I think maybe you might have had a brain freeze or something and just wrote down some words to sound like poetry. Overall, I think that your poem was just O.K.
    | Posted on 2006-07-03 00:00:00 | by Caotic_Disaster | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked your poem, the wordplay was amazing. I do not understand parts of it but that is why i liked it so. This is going on my favs:)

    -Creep
    | Posted on 2006-07-03 00:00:00 | by Mr. Creep | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    109316

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry