Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

For The Love Of Pestilence

Author: Liv2LoveThePain
ASL Info:    19 - F - Philly
Elite Ratio:    4.23 - 1527 /1515 /256
Words: 253
Class/Type: Poetry /Mirror or Mask
Total Views: 1541
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1818


For The Love Of Pestilence

If you don't fight it,
You might lose your nerve.
And if you don't let go of him,
You'll get what you deserve.

He says, "I'm in love with you."
You think, no, you're not.
He puts the bite marks in your flesh
And leaves them there to rot.

It's almost a disease.
The end is just like cancer.
I ask you why you stab yourself,
But I can see the answer.

Honey, you're a mirror.
I stare back at myself
Through the cracking glass, and I
Find sickness in my health.

I've realized this before.
It only hits me now.
"...And if you don't let go of him..."
Well, come on. Tell me how.

If you're so fucking wise,
Be it when I ask.
All you've ever said before
Is that "no love can last.

Nikkki, leave the stage.
Nikkki, take the hit."

Bitch, you never help at all.
I'm fucking sick of it.

But in between those cracks,
I see a lonely knife.
Answers may not be all there;
I don't need them tonight.

Glancing at my hand,
It holds the violent blade.
"Put it to your plastic throat.
Cut out the life you made."

I follow my instructions.
Blood runs down my arm.
Eyes turn off the bathroom light,
But still, I feel unharmed.

I never wanted to be you.
Choosing not to see it.
Nikkki, wrap your severed soul
Around a glittered exit.

Submitted on 2006-07-03 21:36:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  it's reminds me of something i'd rather not talk about...but again, you put it all so simply and make it sound real!

| Posted on 2006-07-20 00:00:00 | by whispered_chaos | [ Reply to This ]
  Shit. This was so powerful Nikki.

I think what made it extra powerful was the fact that you used your own name. That it was so personal, it made it more real. Oh my god. Wow, a favourite for sure. I'm sorry I can't comment very well today, my mind has flown away. But I loved it

| Posted on 2006-07-03 00:00:00 | by dark-red-pain | [ Reply to This ]
  They say it's powerful becasue you put your name in it, maybe i'm seing what I want, but I think there's a reason you put your name, beyond making it more compelling. I've been there, but I don't need to tell you that, you read that the other day. Though, I know I'm wrong(yes a guy admitting he's wrong) it's like you wrote it for me(except replace "he"). The point being it's that powerful, and hits that close at least for me. I think it might be your most powerful write yet, though I fear you'll change that in due time. I feel compeelled to appologize for you writing this, becasue the all too familiar cost. But I don't think you'd want that, I think rather me tell you despite the horror, you seem to transend both beauty and pain. Perhaps becasue pain can be so beautiful when you know how to pull it devestation.
" I never wanted to be you." Such a simple line, but my favorite. Try to take care some what at least, after all what's misery if you're never happy? Well done, very well done!(yes like bond!)
| Posted on 2006-07-04 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow Niiki, very awesome. I love how you use your name in it. Paints a good picture. Its great how you can look inside and get how you actually feel. Its a tough thing to do but you've masterd it completely. Added to my favs of course. I love it. Job Very Well done my dear.

Love <333

*-* Sarah *-*
| Posted on 2006-07-23 00:00:00 | by giver_of_death | [ Reply to This ]
  I've realized this before.
It only hits me now.
"...And if you don't let go of him..."
Well, come on. Tell me how.

If you're so [censored] wise,
Be it when I ask.
All you've ever said before
Is that "no love can last.

Nikkki, leave the stage.
Nikkki, take the hit."
Bitch, you never help at all.
I'm [censored] sick of it.

while i did like the entire thing, those three stanzas were my really have a way with portraying your emotion...perhaps it's your angry words...i don't know, but whatever it is, it works...
another thing that i really have to commend you on is your normally pieces that have a bit of length and rhyme all the way through seem forced, but this flows smoothly...congratulations on a great write.

and the picture was a cool're very creative.
| Posted on 2006-07-11 00:00:00 | by was_i_ever_real | [ Reply to This ]
  This is something i can relate to so much that at one point i had to stop and check to make sure it wasn't a poem by (jk i knew it wasn't) I spend everynight missing someone that i can no longer have. Crying tears i knew one day i'd shed. I never knew it would hurt so much. I admire how well you are able to put your thoughts and feelings into words. But i guess like me maybe you've found that it is easier to have a smile one your face while there are cut marks on your arms that no one knows about, than to freely *tell* people what you are feeling. Becuase unlike people, a pencil and paper can't think less of you, can degrade you, and most of all, can't shatter your heart.
I truely do think you are talented and that all of the works i have read so far are very wonderfully done. I hope all goes well for you in this life of pain. Because hell, if i'm not happy at least somebody needs to be.

~Akai Ame
| Posted on 2006-07-13 00:00:00 | by Akai_Ame | [ Reply to This ]
This is one heck of a powerful write!!!
I love mirror poetry and you captured it insanely well with this one
I can feel the pain you are feeling in this one
I have been there myself
I agree that adding your own name really added life to this
Great Job!!!
I Loved It
God Bless
| Posted on 2006-07-04 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow. That was brilliant! This one took my breath away! Honestly, it's not easy to display your feelings so vividly, and so publicly. I know, I have trouble with it - lol - it took me forever to post some of my more personal poems online, or let anyone read them. So kudos to you for not letting fear get in the way of writing your emotion.

I think this is an awesome piece, and I can completely relate to your role in this piece. I've been there myself, and go back and visit quite often - lol. All I can say is great, powerful, meaningful write! I loved it.


~Mandi Gayle~
| Posted on 2006-07-11 00:00:00 | by Mandi Gayle | [ Reply to This ]
  two most powerful lines..
put the bite marks in your flesh leaves them to rot, blood runs down my arm, i feel un harmed...

touch a glimps at your pain i can see it happen as you wrote it. very well done .

however, how bout directing the anger
elaborate on the pain ... elaborate on the lesson learned and not whos to blame

going in my favs
looking for your potential to build even more! well done!
| Posted on 2006-07-23 00:00:00 | by blackhart | [ Reply to This ]
  aw guru, i... i'm not sure what to say.

It's wonderful. Absolutely fabulous. You're amazing, and i don't know how you keep doing it.

at some parts i really felt like you were talking to me, (apparently i'm not the only one) you're just that good that your work reaches out and b!tch-slaps people like that.

I love that you can seamlessly mix together metaphorical and literal writing, like one big poetic smoothie! (im obbsessed with smoothies lately...) Unless you're really sharp (like me ) you can't even tell one from the other."Brilliant!"

i agree with all those who came before me when they said that using your own name made this all that more powerful.

this comment doesn't even come close to deserving the honor of being associated with this poem.

your adoring fan,
-guru second in command
| Posted on 2006-09-05 00:00:00 | by MyFairCalamity | [ Reply to This ]
  That was a sad poem. OMG i almost cried. That had so much emotion, pain, and soul. I loved it so much. You are a powerful writer, keep it up! You are really good at expressive writing.

Oh yea, thanx 4 the comment too.

~*~ Lisa ~*~
| Posted on 2006-08-20 00:00:00 | by Nani | [ Reply to This ]
  Glancing at my hand,
It holds the violent blade.
"Put it to your plastic throat.
Cut out the life you made."

Loved this stanza, Ron's right Nik this is a really powerful write, not everyone can look into themselves with such clarity and honesty. Very well done.

This was another really cool stanza:

Nikkki, leave the stage.
Nikkki, take the hit."
Bitch, you never help at all.
I'm [censored] sick of it.

Really compelling, can i call you mentor lol.

| Posted on 2006-07-04 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?