Little girl, so innocent and pure
Living a life you couldn't endure
You took all the pain and kept it inside
Looking for corners in which you could hide.
Little girl, wanting Daddy's love
Enmeshed in the web that he wove
Knowing it was wrong but feeling it was right
The tears that were shed all alone in the night.
Little girl, the years have been so sad
Looking for something that you've never had
Looking for answers in all the wrong places
Looking for love, but finding just traces.
Looking for love that
you sought in the past
Feeling that this time
you might make it last.
But now my eyes are open
at long last I can see
Just what it is I have to do
to finally be free.
I'm going to take my life back
For this too is my world
I'm going to have to let you go
My sad eyed little girl.
Too long I've carried you around
Too long I've felt your grief
Too long I've cried without a sound
The pain beyond belief.
But now that I have grown up
I've got to let you go
Goodbye my own sweet little girl
And yes, I love you so.
| This is truly sad, and I have to say that the last stanza was the saddest of them all, because it must of been really hard to let go of something or someone that you've known for so long, no matter how bad and destructive it is to you, so right now, I give you a lot of praise to be able to let go. But also, I give you a lot of praise for this poem, which clearly illustrates what a victim of sexual abuse from a parent goes through in life, and this is described in no way that anyone who hasn't gone through can try to describe. Also, I love how you kept using "Little Girl", because it really does symbolize the innocence you tried to hold on to for so long, which had been tainted, and lay inside of your soul rotting, and I have to say that this is an amazingly written poem, and it must of been hard to write, so great job an that too.|
|| Posted on 2006-07-04 00:00:00 | by EmpathicAya | [ Reply to This ] || I truely like this poem, because the pace and wording is really pollished. It tells a story while giving the pressence of the pain of letting go.|
I typically don't like the standard rhyme lines in two's but this works. It is a balanced poem that ever so slightly is pushed a little. I sped up as I read it, but the flow of the poem kept up with my reading. It let me keep reading the poem with out losing the pace and the power behind it.
The only thing I really see that is questionable is the fact you started out in a third person type stance and moved to a first person. It works, but it goes against the normal structure of this type of poetry.
I really think you have alot of talent.. and this is a poem that could quite honestly be published in many of the legit poetry books that really have very rigid processes.
Keep it up and you will have a poetry book of your own in the library next to the greats that live immortally there now.
|| Posted on 2006-07-04 00:00:00 | by Siegen0 | [ Reply to This ] || wow this write was good. i liked the way it flowed. my favorite part was:|
"You took all the pain and kept it inside
Looking for corners in which you could hide."
|| Posted on 2006-08-03 00:00:00 | by 777sacrites777 | [ Reply to This ] || your were right I did appreciate this poem alot,it was so well written and it had a great flow.Sorry that you had to go through this,I am happy for you that you found the strengh to let go.The poems that I have read of yours have been great and I think you have real talent at painting a clear picture and making the reader feel for you.This was a great right that I liked alot.I shall be putting it in my favorates and I shall read more of your poems as I really like yous writting style.keep up the great work,Jamie x||| Posted on 2006-07-25 00:00:00 | by korn9426 | [ Reply to This ] |