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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Prison Days are Numbereddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Swanne
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 258/206/43
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 209
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 646



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Prison Days are Numbereddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Touch me,
    With more then just your precious sight
    Such expose would
    melt the calm
    that has incased us.
    Kiss me,
    With more then just the dry air,
    Moist lips would shatter
    this imprisoning stillness.
    Take me,
    With more then just an unclean thought
    Burst the milky tranquility that
    Holds us captive.
    Bend me,
    You will see what lurks in the back
    of my mouth.
    Taste me,
    Let our tongues exhaust from fevering battle.
    Touch me,
    Rip these frightened chains off with your teeth.
    Touch me.
    Touch me.




    Submitted on 2006-07-05 17:59:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hi my friend,

    I have been away for a bit, but now I come back and see this interesting piece.

    It is nice the way it builds to the climax of 'Touch me Touch me'

    But I wonder why the title is not 'Your prison days...'

    Donn
    | Posted on 2006-07-12 00:00:00 | by D McDaniel | [ Reply to This ]
      An erotic ride I dare to step and walk this trail. Left in bliss, but beauty has been unveiled. The words you spoke so deliquetely wrote a sigh of wind currents arrising from benieth my cavaity chest. Made me long for and reach out and ahh catch my breath. None the less my tempeature rose like a budded flower that had been exposed.

    Your emotions shine through like a parting of the clouds on a rainy day. Sunlit rays hit the glistning pedals after a soft rain. I hope fever has been answered. Yet not led you astray for every silver lined cloud has it's rainy day. lol I had to think of something to say.

    Thanks Swanne for the walk on this path was an elightened step.

    Sincerly Gannondalf
    | Posted on 2006-07-07 00:00:00 | by Gannondalf | [ Reply to This ]
      Entertaining piece.
    Overall, I have to say I enjoyed it.
    I like your choice of words; they're subtle, but somehow manage to convey a whole lot more.
    Only thing I'm not so sure about is the title.
    I'm sure you probably have meaning behind it, but for me, as a reader, I don't really understand how it goes with the piece.
    However, the title does cause for some intrigue.
    Keep it up, bonita.
    You look like Kelly Clarkson, by the way.
    Hahaha.
    | Posted on 2006-07-15 00:00:00 | by GiveMeTheGun | [ Reply to This ]
      The write speaks more to wanting to be understood than any sensual context the commentary might suggest. The words demand an acknowledgement of the person beneath the surface. The invitation hints of skeptical optimism. This was a very interesting play on emotions with words.
    | Posted on 2006-07-06 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]



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