“Oh, I’m a star. And the audience loves me. And I love the audience. And the audience loves me for lovin’ them and I love them for lovin’ me and we love each other. And that’s because none of us got enough love in our childhoods… and that’s showbiz, kid.” – Roxie Hart, Chicago
It’s the feeling of family akin to that of a sport’s team or a sleep away camp (although I cannot honestly attest to being very akin to either of those two things), the feeling of being in a theatre production, although it tends to be louder, more egotistical, wackier and simply more in tune. No one can really describe the hormonal rush of pretending to be someone else, to be put in makeup, to be ridiculously reciting intricate choreography and musical notes and loving every minute of it. The story doesn’t have to make sense. The lyrics are by no means politically correct. The characters are filled with artful stereotypes, offensive to all or most minorities. But that’s the reality we willingly lend ourselves to. Maybe it’s because we’re all ridiculously good liars. (Or at least, those of us who are good are.) Maybe we are the kind of people who enjoy making up stories or making up funny phrases just for the sport. The people who like to create things that no one’s ever seen before using little pieces of the people around them… inching in close enough to pull onto someone’s heartstrings but running away before they can be detected. Maybe it’s just because we want to run away from our own pathetic reality for a while. Maybe it’s just a place where the weirdoes can unite and sing songs together. Maybe because it burns calories?
Whatever it is, it changes us. It somehow makes us all see things bigger. We get the extreme version of everything. When we’re happy, we’re over the moon and back, we’re jumping up and down, we’re shedding tears and tap-dancing. When we’re sad, we’re in the depths of despair, we’re bawling our eyes out, we’re running makeup tears and singing ballads. When we’re in love, we’re falling, jumping, dancing in love. No matter how we feel, we’re feeling it at the top of our lungs. We’re all united in our huge emotions, for we certainly are not low-key. We’re drama. We invented it. We’re all each other’s best friends and worst enemies. We’re the royalty of passive aggressive. We’re insane.
From a far away glance, it seems so self destructive. It seems so crazy. It’s like being on drugs. But we do it. Because it’s what we know. It’s what we love. We love to freak out. There’s a dramaqueen within all of us. We all love the spotlight. We all love attention. We all can’t be ignored. We’re all high maintenance and easily bored. We love the thrill of the chase. We love adventure. We love showing off our skills and discovering ourselves within other people. We know that all the world’s a stage and that all the people are merely players. We know that if we can emulate truth well enough, anyone will believe us. We know that we’re not lying. We are merely becoming. And we love to become together. We know that we can only exist in our dream world together if it is the same “we”. We’re pieces of a puzzle and we can’t do without each other. We know that we are unique. We know that we change every play with ourselves, our interpretations and our personalities. We know that it’s killing us, but it’s what we live for.