i don't actually think it is too bad a cliché, i think roses are generally more associated with romance, but this has more of an innocence about it. Only criticism, is that you said yellow petals, and daisies have white petals with yellow centers, only a minor botanical detail! well done, love charlie x x x
I must disagree with redrose, I see some cliché - ness, but more than the cute I see some decent structure and metre. The metaphors are representative of a more mature writer, so I think for a 14 year old writer it is very well done. So much better to read this type from a young poet than all the other angst junk written by many others in this age bracket. bravo!
I have to agree that this was very cute and innocent. I really like how you captured this brief moment and put the reader right there with you. Imagery does amazing things and you did a great job with that in this piece. It definately brought back fond memories of the days that I used to sit and do this. Thank God that the daisy turned out to be wrong in most cases, but none the less it was really enjoyable to read. I have to agree with the comment left about the angst that you typically see with the younger writers.
The only thing that I really noticed was the word "pluch", I'm assuming that is supposed to say pluck, but other than that I really don't have too much more to say about it. Keep it up!
This is very cliché. But somehow it redeems itself because it is so cute. :D The poem has loads of great imagery. Like the line about the wind and your bangs. I only have a few suggestions: Reread through this yourself and try to find synonyms for words that you repeated in each stanza. And change a couple spelling errors. Other than that this is a good write. LeAnna