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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: FRIEND AND NOTHING MOREdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Psyve
    ASL Info:    53/M/ Bahrain
    Elite Ratio:    3.29 - 75/102/60
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Being a Teen
    Total Views: 725
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 744



    Description:
       


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    dotsFRIEND AND NOTHING MOREdots
    -------------------------------------------



    Let it happen once before,
    It will not happen any more:
    Did you really think that I was such a bore?
    My heart wasn’t yours to take,
    You see, it's really for my sake
    That I must not let it happen any more-
    Was it so hard to understand,
    All I asked for was a friend
    And nothing more…


    Writing letters, making plans,
    Was I boy, or was I man?
    Now I wish the sea would roll onto the sand…
    For, if a lesson's to be learnt,
    This boy just got his fingers burnt-
    But he'll forget you if he must, and if he can-
    For he'd rather be alone,
    Than risk you spit upon
    His outstretched hand…




    Submitted on 2006-07-09 14:05:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      In case anyone is interested, this is the link to the song:

    http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7442203
    | Posted on 2010-01-07 00:00:00 | by Psyve | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the words you used, but I think it could be a bit longer. I liked the part about lessons being learned, and the boy burning his hand. Good write.
    | Posted on 2006-07-09 00:00:00 | by KatieHomicide | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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