Death lullaby

Author: James Reyna Elite Ratio:    4.76 - 227 /166 /24 Words: 90

Class/Type: Poetry /Death Total Views: 1525 Average Vote:    4.0000 Bytes: 597

Description:

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Death lullaby

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Sleep, rest, fly Life is over I see it in your eyes You know you've reached The other side Sleep, rest, fly Life was long, hard But full of joy And though sometimes life left you scared Your life you did enjoy Sleep, rest, fly While everyone is here Leave all regrets Before you go We must not add more tears Sleep, rest, fly But hold my hand... now! And never let it go Before ends this death lullaby And before life siezes to flow Sleep, rest, fly.

Submitted on 2006-07-10 10:04:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments

Since this poem was one you had marked Featured I decided to read it... and I gave it a vote of 4! Good job, keep it up!

| Posted on 2006-09-19 00:00:00 | by psycho_1 | [ Reply to This ]

Hi I thought this 'lullaby' was great although i can say i don't always enjoy life it does have it's moments.... but this was great. good job and keep up the great stuff. Love Jes

| Posted on 2006-08-02 00:00:00 | by Jesimine | [ Reply to This ]

wow I am a fan of yours and I realy loved this one. it might be a favorite. and thanks for commenting. with all my heart allmine

| Posted on 2006-08-01 00:00:00 | by allmine | [ Reply to This ]

Awesome job. flow and everything was awesome. Just one little thing that I noticed while I was reading it, I don't know if you did this on purpose or if you just forgot but you changed the order of the sleep, rest, fly. The very first line of your poem reads Rest, Sleep, Fly and the very last line reads Sleep, Rest, Fly. I think that maybe you should change it so that they are in the same order. Other than that, I didn't see any spelling errors or anything, so I think it was a job well done on your part. Good job and keep up the superb writing.

| Posted on 2006-07-10 00:00:00 | by Caotic_Disaster | [ Reply to This ]

This is a really great piece and I totally enjoyed the flow of this Lullaby and your words show all the emotion you can be very proud of this one James so entrancing the words but that's what a lullaby does I love this one keep up the great work. I will continue to read your work I know I will enjoy it. Wilma

| Posted on 2006-07-11 00:00:00 | by LadyMustang | [ Reply to This ]

Marvelous, man. It flowed with fluidity, the words really hit home, and it kept that transe like feel till the very end. Yeah, I'm a fan of yours, I'll just say it now. Well done. Jacob

| Posted on 2006-07-11 00:00:00 | by Jacob Seibert | [ Reply to This ]

Wow. That was so.... soo.... There are no words. I haven't read something so great in a while. Something so original and beautiful. The flow was awesome and the rhyming scheme was different, in a good way of course. I hope you keep it up, I really love your work!

| Posted on 2006-07-11 00:00:00 | by precious_poetry | [ Reply to This ]

I liked this alot actually, the flow was good, the emotion was there and I really liked the way it read, it had kinda a trance like feel....which is I guess the purpose of a lullaby lol. one thing though I was kinda hoping it'd be a little more morbid.....but at the same time I like what you had and i Know that you did the repitition on purpose to make the point strong or whatever but it got a little too repititious for me. other then that very good write much love, ~jess

| Posted on 2006-07-10 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]

wow it was really nice written and the format was kool too. it flowed good and it was really fun to read good write fana

| Posted on 2006-07-10 00:00:00 | by BusterLILblock | [ Reply to This ]

I loved it. It was both beautiful and sad at the same time. You know the whole 'your life is over theme', that was depressing. But the repetition, "sleep, rest, fly", that was great. You made it seem that even though this persons life was over, that they were moving onto something even better. That's what I got out of it. Great poem ~Piper

| Posted on 2006-08-26 00:00:00 | by PiperH | [ Reply to This ]

i dont know if i like this too much. the way its written, "sleep, rest, fly" sounds more like a refrain than an effective motif, and while the wordplay, imagery,and overall sensibilities are strong, that one refrain makes it come off as slightly stale or cliché even when coupled with the rhyme scheme. a good write, but in my opinion needs work.

| Posted on 2006-08-30 00:00:00 | by ozymandias | [ Reply to This ]

i think when people read this poem they make up their own mind about what it means. i would like to know what it means to you. i think the way you changed the order in which sleep, rest, fly is in holds meaning. to me i think the meaning changes towards the end of the poem. these are just my views on it. let me know what you think. keep up the great work. take care Jes

| Posted on 2006-11-05 00:00:00 | by Jesimine | [ Reply to This ]

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