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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: How Stars Become Familiardots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: FarawayFeelings
    ASL Info:    16/F/Mia
    Elite Ratio:    0.93 - 159/74/72
    Words: 198
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 817
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1309



    Description:
       I wrote this while at a fourth of july show, just came to me, one of those inspirations, realyl only the image came but i worked from there.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHow Stars Become Familiardots
    -------------------------------------------


    Laying in the middle of a footbal field,
    after rain and last night's fireworks,
    completely alone, it seems
    the sound of existence resounds against the empty stands.

    Looking toward the sky,
    something is coming down,
    many are coming down,
    not fireworks for "patriotism"
    but stars, true stars.

    A meek smile from the mouth of a mute,
    eyes being my communication,
    eyes lighting up with the flicker of shining celestical bodies.

    Raining again, and this time with sparkles of our big wide universe. Soaked in water and joy. What more could I have asked the heavens for? For some impossible wish?
    This was "impossible" and yet here I am coated in a fine glitter permanently lining my pale skin, this shine is forever.

    This immortal dust, will keep me young always. A fountain of some silent impact to change worlds still undiscovered. No words needed just actions and optical expressions.

    Dancing around for awhile the excess dust and some whole stars dancing around with me, as if I'm kicking up some happy conflict, some beautiful kind of revolution for some stars that felt their place set there, still in the skies was undeserved.




    Submitted on 2006-07-10 11:10:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Ooo, I really like this one Anya. You really hooked me at "Eyes being my communication." I love that line! And you expand and build off this idea throughout the rest of the poem. You have a strong use of vocabulary throughout the piece, which makes it fresh, and keeps one from getting bored. I think there are some places where you use commas, but should instead use a line break, if you are following the rules of commas. But still, I really liked this write. Nice one.

    Justin :)
    | Posted on 2006-07-10 00:00:00 | by IamYourTragedy | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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