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    dots Submission Name: There on the edge of a tranquil seadots

    Author: mcgovern_xiii
    ASL Info:    35/M/NewEngland
    Elite Ratio:    4.13 - 70/91/26
    Words: 193
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1529
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1032

       Still trying to understand it all and afraid I never will, but still waiting for the sun to rise

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThere on the edge of a tranquil seadots

    It’s the end of the day…..orange and purple have soaked up the blue.
    And the sun wades off into the ocean to wake up the other side of the world.
    Silouettes of palm trees and shadows of stones.
    A whisper from the water as it caresses the shore.
    A reminder ….. No one is around, yet I am not alone.
    Suffocating in the beauty of it all I prepare myself for the cold dark night.
    The memories that hide in the deep somber colors.
    The hideous beauty of the truth.
    A bird pecks out the eyes of a fish……an evening meal.
    And a fleet of crabs run for the safety of the sea.
    I lounge in the sand with the knowledge that I would eat them all.
    A repulsive anticipation of how good they would taste.
    Had my belly not been full of their ancestors, I too would give chase.
    But for now I rest….for tonight if caught….. I will be food for the moon.
    Yet another dinner guest to the many faces of god.


    Submitted on 2004-05-16 01:25:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Sinister yet idyllic. Calming yet possessing a relentless quality that is unnerving. The prosaic style is compelling.
    I like the language a lot and it's of little interest to me where you're going because I got there before you - just ahead of the moon...
    | Posted on 2004-05-16 00:00:00 | by Awkward | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this until you got to the part about the fish eyes. The piece was so beautiful up to that point. I also don't think you need the ellipses. I think dashes would suffice here. Sorry, I'm an English tutor, and it's hard to turn off sometimes.
    | Posted on 2004-05-16 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this poem, so much so that I am going to post it as a favorite. This is a great write with beautiful images.
    | Posted on 2004-05-16 00:00:00 | by oixi | [ Reply to This ]

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