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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: In the back yard (villanelle)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Duke Medhat
    ASL Info:    21/Male/Egypt
    Elite Ratio:    5.08 - 58/38/24
    Words: 113
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 978
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 698



    Description:
       Well, I know that it is not an excellent villanelle, but it is my first villanelle.

    I just want to tell who do not know what the "Yellow flag" is. In the middle ages and in the early Modern ages the yellow flag was a symbol / signal for epidemic.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIn the back yard (villanelle)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    In the back yard we fought
    Every one were from the bay
    Trying to seize their boat

    As start, just blades were brought
    But their bay is far a way!
    In the back yard we fought

    Exchange fronts was my thought
    Yellow flag is a good way
    Trying to seize their boat

    Near bay the fight was brought
    By logs they, blocked our way
    In the back yard we fought

    Wood logs from hell were brought
    Omit them by fire ray
    Trying to seize their boat

    In water; boat were caught
    In land; bay men were lay
    In the back yard we fought
    Trying to seize their boat




    Submitted on 2006-07-11 09:45:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is really deep
    To me this write expresses a child who was shunned by others for no particular reason and really only had a set amount of friends who were the other children children ridiculed and faulted mostly because they didnt understand why someone is different
    Children can be so cruel
    I was one of those children myself I never really had a best friend growing up except my Mother
    I understand this poem perfectly
    You did an excellent job with this
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-07-11 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very good for a first time villanelle. I personally know how hard it is to write one of these pieces, for I wrote and posted one myself titled Eleanore. I liked the way you gave the reader a brief glismpe into this battle and your imagery was good. I think you did a very good job.

    Catrina
    | Posted on 2006-07-11 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]


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