Today I realised how bad I have always treated you. I was giving you a hard time this morning. Forcing my fists into you, again and again. But then something hit me for a change. That something being like Ďsensesí, I donít know, it felt weird.
I saw some blood on your surface, and it wasnít the first time I had to clean you up. Yesterday I did it too, and the day beforeÖ Seems like itís a daily treatment I give you.
And I do that, while you have always been the most loyal to me. Youíre always there when I feel scared, or alone. When I need to hide, you seem to protect me. Shield me from the outside world. Only with you surrounding me I can feel safe. My sanctuary. Inner sanctum.
But I never apologised for all the pain I have given you.
Or the scenes I made you watch. [me with a knife, me with scissors, or that piece of glass, remember?]
All the random objects I threw at you.
It appears Iíve never been that grateful, have I? Instead youíve seen me crying. [You know, that would probably make you the only one. Isnít that special?] Witnessed me bleeding, desperate and aggressive.
Though, I must say you always remained silent.
You never intervened.
Or replied to my cries.
So I guess youíre not so talkative then.
Thatís alright. I donít talk much myself either.
I hope you can forgive me for what Iíve done. And please excuse me in advance, for the time when I wonít be able to clean you up anymore.
But until then, stay with me.
Even though I may not deserve it.