Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Kdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Localfreak
    ASL Info:    37, Maybe, Here
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 131/123/76
    Words: 147
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1334
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 967



    Description:
       I just sat down and wrote... I've not checked it for mistakes nor rhyme.
    I'm just really disappointed in friends becoming idiots...
    and the ones I trust ... well enough said.
    I'm sick of hurting.......


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsKdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I never meant to hate you
    with the darkness of eyes born of torment you held me
    and pleaded for your safety.

    Known but to a few you said,
    known by no-one who mattered till this day
    and cared for by the depth of self and no more

    I never meant to want you
    nor open an organ used too much over time
    and let your warmth inside.

    Still care persists below the disappointment
    worming it's way beyond the defensive calm
    opening it's cracks where you should never be
    nor never should have known

    At last though, I have judged you
    have seen inside and known your self
    have witnessed all you hid 'neath honour
    and smelt the cardinal sin from whence
    your own desires reclaimed

    from where your true self,
    your bitterness
    your selfishness
    your emotions, all were named...




    Submitted on 2006-07-12 09:57:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this is scathing...
    im very glad it is not aimed at me...
    VERY glad...

    im sorry you are hurt so much as to have to write something as powerful as this but from personal experience i know that true pain makes for the best poetry... i wish it didnt but it does...

    i never meant...
    theres a lot of things in here you never meant to do but matters of the heart are never meant... they just happen...
    i never meant to hate you infers that there was love there first... on some level or other...
    some of the ideas conveyed in this write make the love sound very intimate too... seeing a lot of the other person and them seeing a lot of you that isnt normally shown to many people at all...
    i guess it makes the hurt even stronger and the hate even worse...
    i really am sorry...

    the purity of hurt and anger in this piece comes through... i wouldnt tell you to change a thing even if i could...

    take care of you...
    | Posted on 2006-07-12 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    110378

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Untitled - 12/12/2017 written by homeless
    Chèvrefeuille written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Jar (working title) written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Hurt written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Collision written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Eyes written by homeless
    Untitled 2 written by homeless
    Forget written by Crestfallenman
    Two written by homeless
    Dreamt written by rev.jpfadeproof
    BlackBerry Bushes written by Daniel Barlow
    Yearn written by saartha
    Moon and Me written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Still written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sleeping Giant written by MyPeriodical
    I Wonder If written by Wolfwatching
    Would You... written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Variety written by saartha
    Blinded by Sight written by Torie
    Forgetting You written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Starry night written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Hazy Half-Moon written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Shading written by saartha
    Untitled - 8/2017 written by homeless
    Untitled: June 24, 2018 written by homeless
    The Forgotten Umbrella written by garnet4david
    April 1, 2018 written by homeless
    Outside the Chain written by Wolfwatching
    Reveled Night written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Fizzy Love written by rev.jpfadeproof

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry