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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Life Lessons Early Ondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: annie0888
    ASL Info:    49/f/LA
    Elite Ratio:    4.76 - 327/382/122
    Words: 171
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 873
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1005



    Description:
       I used to work for a very nice obstetrician. I wrote this as a tribute to him upon the recent announcement of his retirement.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLife Lessons Early Ondots
    -------------------------------------------


    My first crush
    of mother love
    was like being piped
    through an icing bag with a #12 tip.

    (The squeezing hasn't
    let up much, by the way.)

    I didn't know I was supposed
    to dive headfirst into that bright light.
    I had intended to dip my toes
    one at a time.

    I could have said you handled me like
    some benevolent latexed octopus,
    pointing me in the right direction -
    if I had known about latex and octopi.

    The rubbery noose you loosened
    from my throat was something
    I had grown attached to.
    Who knew about choking?

    I long ago forgave you that first
    slap of bare bottom discipline,
    urging me to suck air before
    my soft cotton landing.

    And I would have risen to
    shake hands and say thanks
    -out of basic human courtesy-
    if I had known I was one.





    Submitted on 2006-07-12 13:20:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is definitely an original viewpoint.

    I was wondering if you were talking about you and your obstetrician's relationship at the start... and I was thinking that it wasn't a very professional one... and rather kinky to boot lol.

    But you cleared it up... and it revealed itself one line at a time to come to a heart-warming sense of compassion I felt really strongly in this piece.

    What strikes me are the impressions of learning that this newborn baby goes through... it's very well-portrayed and I definitely feel like I'm in his/her boots.

    Yea... nicely done. I think he'll be blown away by this tribute of yours.

    Peace,

    Jase
    | Posted on 2006-07-13 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]
      Is this in the point of view of a baby being born? If it is, the last stanza is really grea.t If it's not, the last stanza is still great, but that was the only theme that I could seem to draw from it. Again, this is really a good piece of work, because I don't really think I know many other writes who could put themselves in the shoes of a newborn child. The first stanza was lovely. "First crush of motherly love" That's an amazing way to put it. I just think that's so lovely. Anyhow, the poem was very lovely indeed.
    Walk in Love and Light,
    ~Azura*
    | Posted on 2006-07-12 00:00:00 | by EmpathicAya | [ Reply to This ]
      Kinda funy and yet intresting to say the least. I did enjoy this. It was well written and had a nice flow. (Gaude that sounds awful, but it is true)
    It was very cute to see through the eyes of an infant and of course enjoy the hindsight of their first moments. I loved the line
    "I long ago forgave you that first
    slap of bare bottom discipline"

    Simply had me in stitches.
    Keith
    | Posted on 2006-07-12 00:00:00 | by Man in Black | [ Reply to This ]
      This was really an entertaining piece to read. You did a fabulous job with this! I've seen a lot of writing where people have tried in some way or another, to describe being born. I have to say that this one is the absolute best that I've read. I really don't have much to say other than that at this point. There's a wonderful humorous tone in here too. The "toe dipping" part of it made me smile. I thought that was just so adorable. Great piece!

    Candi
    | Posted on 2006-07-15 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this is wonderful. I love the humor in this and the way it is written is just great. I am an RN and spent a lot of time in maternity during college. Not my choice of specialty now but still was quite the experience. I really like how you portray yourself as the baby being born here and reading this just put a smile on my face. It is really well written and expressed. Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed reading this one!!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2006-07-12 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]


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