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    dots Submission Name: A bittersweet reuniondots

    Author: Superman
    ASL Info:    21 Lady
    Elite Ratio:    7.37 - 695/377/71
    Words: 197
    Class/Type: Poetry/Lostfriend
    Total Views: 1273
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1262

       Wrote it on a whim.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA bittersweet reuniondots

    A shining glass of bliss beholds
    one of my favourite places:
    cocoa poured in steaming cups
    delighted childrens faces.

    I lace my boots and tie my hair
    I hope that I'm not late,
    to take another plunging step
    and meet up with my date.

    Its been awhile since I have stood
    on ground so cold and bare,
    I wonder if my timings right
    I wonder should I care?

    I'm told that timing doesnt matter
    it all happens for a reason-
    your heart will sing your words for you
    no matter what the season.

    So I took a step unto the ice,
    the feeling: bittersweet.
    I was afraid of ice so thin
    but felt so incomplete.

    With shaky legs that were unsteady
    and both arms at my side,
    I stepped onto the ice again
    to showcase all my pride.

    And on the spot I said to date,
    "This is the greatest feeling,
    I will fall a lot, I'm sure
    but my heart can take the healing."

    "Ice may melt beneath my feet
    and tough spots I may find
    but stronger is the girl who stands
    then the one who fell behind."

    Submitted on 2006-07-13 21:44:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Hello, It's dawn now, and this is my last read for the...night? morning? either way. I sort of liked the optimism of this piece, it concedes that setbacks are on the way, and I think that the fall is signified of the bad times in a relationship, but the lines, :...I will fall a lot, I'm sure
    but my heart can take the healing."
    sort of justified the whole thing to my mind, because, you really can't heal without first being hurt. I also liked the last stanza, because on it's own(I read it in the pic) I felt that it was narcassistic an I'm better than them, but in context, it's an I'm better than yesterday, I've taken my knocks, and gotten back up, and I'll persevere now, more than ever because I've learned what not to do, and that the only thing that can stop me is death, but that comes when it will, until then, I'm going to live(taken from context being the ice melting, which I'd associate with drowning in the frigid water, or dying of hypothermia...)
    Anyhow, I have to say I liked this piece, so again, no bashing(I really don't do that much, and bashing is so counter productive.) actually, you're more likely to get thoughts and some suggestions for things that really bother me, but mostly thoughts, so if you ever want me to just shut the hell up, let me know, because I plan to keep an eye on your work in future. Again, Salaam, and good night(morning? I don't know anymore.)
    | Posted on 2006-07-26 00:00:00 | by Rastine Aristat | [ Reply to This ]
      ooo...hope this doesn't offend you but i thought it was very cute...kinda of warming...like a schootime jingle or something...i especially liked that last bit...

    i'm guessing you were expressing love through ice skating...or something along those lines...yeah the fall hurts, but it's also fun...and all you can do is get right back up again and try to show off your moves....

    what really really got me was

    And on the spot I said to date,
    "This is the greatest feeling,
    I will fall a lot, I'm sure
    but my heart can take the healing."

    only because i was expecting "but my heart can take the beating"...since you were falling, but the fact that you said that your heart could take the HEALING...cause in a way i guess it is the healing that hurts the most...whoa...it's not the fall, it's the healing...the sore bottom in this case...and the hurt pride....wow...nice write.
    | Posted on 2006-07-13 00:00:00 | by was_i_ever_real | [ Reply to This ]

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