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today


Author: Deep Ace Thinks
ASL Info:    35/M/ Spring, TX
Elite Ratio:    2.75 - 124 /190 /60
Words: 147
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1255
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 710



Description:




today



Lonely sky full of restless air
I was warned long ago about this place
Goodbye long and winding road
It's next to impossible to forget your face

We are spirits these places
Where you never easily see
Is not so easy to stay inspired
Goodbye to falling mercury

I’m thirty five and always counting
Wish I knew where I left my watch
Goodbye to inspiration
You slipped right by without getting caught

memories and daydreams
empty baskets full of hope and hell
boxes of doubt all strewn about
drowned too soon in my own wishing well




Submitted on 2006-07-14 12:02:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I like the way you build up curiosity of what the piece is about in the first two stanzas and kind of release it in the line "I’m thirty five and always counting".

Only one minor "mistake" (hate the word in reference to poetry) is the repitition of inspiration/inspired. It stood out a little when I read it. Apologies if this was intended.

Andy
| Posted on 2006-07-15 00:00:00 | by Andrew David | [ Reply to This ]


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