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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Faded.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BleedingTears
    ASL Info:    16/f/Neverland
    Elite Ratio:    4.06 - 418/289/62
    Words: 118
    Class/Type: Lyrics/What is
    Total Views: 949
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 846



    Description:
       about no one certain.
    i just had the urge to write as song.
    um...honest thoughts?????


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFaded.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    All the carelessness is cramping in my head.
    With less focus, you throw me off track.
    With skies so blue, we've faded to black.
    Don't worry, I'm not leaving.
    Don't cry, I'm still here.

    I've run out of words
    And you've run out of room to share your love with me.
    You're feeding,
    You're pleading for all of it back.
    But there's no more room to share love with me.

    The windows are foggy,
    Sorry, I can't see your face.
    The air is still,
    I apologize, I can't feel you breathe.
    The silence is too loud,
    Unable, I can't hear you
    So, just fade.
    Just fade...

    You've faded,
    Just fade.
    Don't fade.
    Just fade...




    Submitted on 2006-07-14 17:48:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
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    ||| Comments |||
      hey there how ya doin? Just passing through and this one cught my attention, I think this is a great write and would sound good with some music to go with it. and I agree if this were a song I would listen to it to great Job love it.
    | Posted on 2007-07-20 00:00:00 | by LadyMustang | [ Reply to This ]
      lyrical much?

    this is good.
    i like the rhyming, but I can't see a stable scheme.
    good write.
    | Posted on 2007-01-03 00:00:00 | by itsjustme22 | [ Reply to This ]
      Some of it didn't flow quite as well as I would of liked it. But it was very good. If i'm gonna get picky, I would have to say my favourite line was


    The windows are foggy,
    Sorry, I can't see your face.
    | Posted on 2006-12-26 00:00:00 | by Ygi | [ Reply to This ]
      i loved this. from the first lines on, I fell in love with this piece.

    It's going on favorites!


    Well written, nice vocabulary.

    If this was a song, I'd listen to it.
    | Posted on 2006-07-14 00:00:00 | by Lies | [ Reply to This ]
      i actually really like this poem especially the 3rd stanza. The first person was right, these would be good song lyrics!
    | Posted on 2006-07-14 00:00:00 | by concrete_rose | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with the song lyric thing also. Would be a good emo-ish song actually. I can hear Jack's Mannequin singing it. Hehe. It was a good write. Funny how people always try to come back to you.

    BCute

    Don't feel the need to comment on my work I'm trying to get to +30 I'd taken a leave from the site for a while and now I'm back to get my reciprocation up. So, don't feel like you have to comment back. I'm just doing everyone a favor. Thanks for the read!
    | Posted on 2006-08-17 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]


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