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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: So We Singdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Imadjinn
    ASL Info:    17/M/Neverwhere
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 329/328/136
    Words: 134
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Passion
    Total Views: 93
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 753



    Description:
       Who knows where this came out of. I wrote it as it came to me, no thought or anything. Free writing is neat


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSo We Singdots
    -------------------------------------------


    So what if my head's in the clouds,
    So what if I can not see.
    is it really all that wrong to hope,
    is it really all that wrong...

    You write all that's real inside your head,
    I tell what I feel inside my heart,
    so we sing a confusing ballad,
    so we sing...

    I feel what I feel, and I know it's real,
    you say what you think, and it can't be fake,
    so we take, and we give, so long as we live,
    we take, and we take, and we give.

    So what if my head's in the clouds,
    and so what if I tell what I feel.
    We take, and we give, and we sing,
    and we live.

    so we sing, so we sing,
    so we sing.




    Submitted on 2006-07-14 21:54:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      "So what if I can not see."
    cannot

    Ok wait I just checked the cannot thing and you can leave it. We had a big argument over that in English awhile back so I've been set in my ways since, haha.

    ? after is it really all that wrong... ---just to be punctually correct I guess. punctually, i dont think thats a word. I'm on a role with this stuff tonight.

    second stanza is amazing, and I love it.

    Actually I loved the rest of your piece entirely. I dont know what kind of music you listen to but it kinda reminds me of Bright Eyes. I may've said that because I was listening to one of their songs while reading this but still. I really like Bright Eyes. I really liked this piece. Kudos:O)

    --Kayla
    | Posted on 2006-07-14 00:00:00 | by Superman | [ Reply to This ]
      This does feel like a lyric so you've named it aptly. It makes me want to go get the guitar and try some tunes to go along.

    Your sense of writing refrain is quite good, too. And though I don't write lyrics often, music is second nature. And this truly feels like a song.

    So if you don't play, get it to a friend who does. My guess would be
    12 string guitar and dreamy feel..

    thanks for sharing,

    Nan
    | Posted on 2006-07-16 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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