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    dots Submission Name: soldier's corpsedots

    Author: whispered_chaos
    ASL Info:    15/f./cincinnati ohio
    Elite Ratio:    6.8 - 151/94/48
    Words: 309
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 887
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2026


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotssoldier's corpsedots

    i feel your acid tongue on my face,
    peeling away paper from my bones
    and speaking in an ancient language
    your words are heard as screams and moans.
    grasped tigtly in your claws i reach
    for the razor blade dangling beside me,
    it cuts my palm painting the floor
    in scarlett symbols, i want to be free.
    faeries dance beside your fire
    and light the darkness of your cave,
    wringing your neck with energy
    brought forth from the depths of the grave.
    terrorized whimpers sound in the air,
    bloody handprints mark the door
    watching for the pirate's signal
    to drop the ropes down to the floor.
    heading up the crumbling hill,
    and walking toward the waterless well
    dead flowers line the pathway
    of the plank i walk on the way to hell.
    screams subside, stone hits my feet
    and pain shoots through my spine,
    whispering taunts to my burning body
    they laugh and drink the finest wine.
    the carnation is laid on the top of the roof,
    i freefall from its new resting place
    and sing melodies of choking on your tears
    marking the world with its own disgrace.
    a penny for a shot of whiskey,
    and two buys a pint of ale
    reminding you of the days you lived
    and stressed the way to fail,
    horrible nights cloud your dreams
    and play the saddest tune,
    your restlessness is strengthening
    your mother is dying so soon.
    trampling flowers with a horsedrawn carriage,
    you smile at your child,
    who turns their demon eyes on you
    and taunts the horses, mild.
    finger on the trigger, pointless
    nothing works to save a dime,
    watching as you lose it all
    you cannot buy back time.
    marching forward the soldiers play
    the song they've sung before
    and lead the war against your freedom
    as you die and fuck your whore.

    Submitted on 2006-07-17 16:15:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is kind of creepy, I can't explain it, it sent like these little tingles down my spine while reading it. It was very well-written. There was so much in this poem, I can't explain it, but I felt so many things in it. Like at this part

    "for the razor blade dangling beside me,
    it cuts my palm painting the floor
    in scarlett symbols, i want to be free."

    I felt the depression that wanting-to-be-free feeling that comes wit cutting, i know how that feels. Then there is also horror later on, I even felt longing and hate. This was very like kinda like a hybrid poem. Like it talked about so many different things like demons, cutting and many other things. But you connected every thing very good. The best lines by far are the last two

    "and lead the war against your freedom
    as you die and [censored] your whore."

    This is like a very kinda creepy but powerful ending to this poem. I loved it. Damn, you really are a good writer. I'll be reading more when I can. I'm adding this to my favs too.
    | Posted on 2006-08-16 00:00:00 | by Faith_Disease | [ Reply to This ]

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