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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Namedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mithrandir
    ASL Info:    28/m/N.Y.
    Elite Ratio:    4.62 - 452/681/113
    Words: 167
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 819
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1074



    Description:
       This is a piece that I was inspired to write after my nephew was one his way into this world. Becoming an uncle a few months ago has truky served as an inspiration. I feel that fear has no power over you once you name it, this is point of debate between myself and certain friends of mine. take from it what you will, any and all thoughts are always welcome.


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    dotsA Namedots
    -------------------------------------------


    They have a name for it
    that which walks at night
    but it will never tell you
    no thats something you must learn

    so listen well child
    I won't live forever
    close your eyes and listen
    to what you think
    is only the wind

    look at the silhouette
    just beyond the light
    but try not to catch it
    simply know its there

    so walk softly child
    I can't hold your hand forever
    the name you learn
    is the one you alone shall call it
    walk softly and listen

    the sun shall rise and fall
    as it does with time
    and though names remain the same
    appearences will change

    so listen well child
    to that which you think is the wind
    stare back at it
    the eyes outside your window

    I may not be here forever
    but for now I'll stay till your asleep
    so listen well child
    it was only a nightmare
    Daddy's here now
    close your eyes




    Submitted on 2006-07-17 18:10:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like the poem and though this is prehaps unkind, I'm more intrested in this philisophical concept of giving fear a name. I'd like to know more, should you find the time to go into a little more detail.
    | Posted on 2007-04-07 00:00:00 | by nomad knight | [ Reply to This ]
      This is very very nicely written, much more then I thaught it was going to be, the only thing I really found wrong with it was line 3 of stanza 1

    but it will neber tell you

    Just correct the word never, but thats a very small thing. Overall your flow is great, the feel comes acrossed clear as glass, and it really hit a personal chord with me. Remembering back to when I was small, I never had that many moments with my father, he was taken when I was still very small, but this poem made me smile, and remember the moments like that.

    Great work and keep it up!

    -Bella Ombra
    | Posted on 2006-07-18 00:00:00 | by Dark Muse | [ Reply to This ]
      wow... this is beautiful...
    its so calming and reassuring...
    makes me wanna sleep (thats a good thing... promise...)

    its wonderful to have you back here and posting... ive really missed your poetic voice...

    i like how you really dont stress what it is that needs a name... i mean... if it werent for your description i dont think i would have necessarily know it was fear you were encouraging the child to name and i think that is where the beauty and calm of this piece comes from...

    its all about things that no one else can teach you...
    i think being a parent would be the hardest thing when you have so much to give but know that there are some things that your child must learn for themselves... all you can do is let them find out for themselves i guess...

    in some ways... its like the father is already saying goodbye somehow and that in itself is a source of fear you know...i mean... i found out that my father only had 5 years to live and i freaked out... was gonna go marry the first boy i saw so that i KNEW my dad would be able to walk me down the aisle... my dad still doesnt know that i know about the whole life expectancy thing but some of the things he has said (especially since ive been travelling and something real awful happen) have kinda given me the idea he wants to tell me but doesnt know how but also knows i kinda know already (and that made no sense... sorry about that)
    but i mean... the father has a newly born child or a lil toddler like one and hes like you know... im not always gonna be here... im gonna be here tonight i promise but i wont always be here...

    look at the silhouette
    just beyond the light
    but try not to catch it
    simply know its there

    I LOVE THIS STANZA!!
    john this is STUNNING!
    wow...
    i mean... silhouettes just beyond the light need to be caught... like you need to strain or look quickly to be able to catch a glimpse of it you know... and then to simply know its there instead of stressing about what it is or what it represents or where it came from or whatever...
    i love the implications this stanza has for my world...

    same names... different appearances...
    oh how i hate life when it does that to me...
    i mean... different appearance... how can it have the same name... i mean really?! but it does and it works and it just loses me completely...

    stare back at it
    face your fears

    i am completely in love with this piece...
    im completely in love with you being back
    yay!
    | Posted on 2006-07-17 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


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