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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I WANT YOUdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: xtremegentleman
    ASL Info:    22/m/FL
    Elite Ratio:    3.57 - 595/778/82
    Words: 474
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1597
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2775



    Description:
       It is what it is...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI WANT YOUdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I WANT YOU


    I want you…
    I want you…

    I want you to the point that Bob Marley wanted joints
    I want to get high off you
    I want to vibe off you
    Even walk you down the aisle then ride off with you

    I want you like Popeye wants spinach
    So when I feel like giving up your love will make me finish
    And I admit I’m sort of timid and I tend to hold my tongue
    But those jeans that you’re fitting makes me break out into song

    “You make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up”

    And they won’t sit down!
    Hell I stand up for your love too
    Every time I touch this mic with my voice and my vibe
    So the hairs on my neck are just doing what I do

    I want you…

    I want you like a baby wants milk
    So your love will strengthen my bones with the smallest of sips
    I want to taste you, swallow you—so inside of me is where you live
    That’s your home anyway...I’m just asking for my rib

    I want you…

    I want you like a spoiled kid wants to have it’s way
    Morning, noon, night, near, now, everyday
    Every way—front, back, side to side
    Like a horse wants a jockey girl I want you to ride

    I want you…

    I want you like a Metro PCS phone wants a signal
    I will move where I must to get in touch with your love
    No call fading, breaking up—I’m standing at your surface
    I want you like a dope boy wants his phone back in service

    I want you…

    I want you…to kiss me
    Walk away and then miss me
    I’m shattered like a broken mirror
    I want you to fix me

    And when I’m all together through your intimate correction
    I want you to look at me and see your own reflection
    And me and you as one only constitutes perfection
    I want you like an old man on Viagra wants erections

    I want you…
    I want you…

    I want you like Bush wants Osama
    Like a run-on sentence wants a comma
    Like my daddy wanted momma
    And went in without a condom

    Like Jay-Z wants Beyonce
    And single women want fiancés
    Like you in my bed naked
    Like Trey Songs wants to make it

    Like a fish wants water
    And Mexicans want borders
    Like arcades want quarters
    I want your mom’s sexy daughter

    I want you…

    I want you like an addict wants crack
    After feeling the effects of your dangerous drug
    I’ll stand the corners with a sign
    I will work for your love

    I want you…






    Submitted on 2006-07-19 13:53:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      *fans self*

    well well well X!!! its has been a while since i last came by your page, and this is HOT!!!!!!! a new fav definitely!! Father hood is agreeing with you,and this kinda luvlust...dayum...makes a girl want to be wanted this bad!

    im pretty speechless right now so...ummmm yeah...nicely done!

    -Nikki
    | Posted on 2006-08-07 00:00:00 | by stolie77 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey bro... So yeah, you had a couple of lines that made me wanna bust out laughing (you know which ones I'm talking about, don't act like you don't). I don't know if Ne-Yo would appreciate you stealin' his line like that... I think you got something real here though, and it's beautiful so what is there to say but keep doing your thing. Take care. ...bb...

    Tay ~~
    | Posted on 2006-07-30 00:00:00 | by Phoenix2004 | [ Reply to This ]
      Passion unbridled........a deep... devouring... can't get enough *gasp* can't breath unless I'm inhaling you type of love......

    You sure expressed that...but then again when have you NOT been passionate?

    Been a long time since I've faved things...and you and my sis sure have gotten my soul stirred up today......

    as always.....perfectly done....

    Tink
    | Posted on 2006-07-27 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
      Hello, and good evening.

    This was laugh out loud funny in some places. You're an extraordinarily funny guy. Some of those metaphors - hey! - pity the poor girl for having a guy like YOU on her - highly sexy? - behind.
    Favourite bits (so as you can make lots more for our mental ecstasy):
    "And Mexicans want borders
    Like arcades want quarters
    I want your mom’s sexy daughter" - HAH, cracks me up. Oh, and:
    "I want you like Bush wants Osama
    Like a run-on sentence wants a comma
    Like my daddy wanted momma
    And went in without a condom." - Hah hah hah hah hah *pees a little*. x.


    | Posted on 2006-07-20 00:00:00 | by writhe | [ Reply to This ]
      Hot damn this was cool! A little long, but hey, it'll do that to a person, ya know?

    That cell phone stanza was great. One of the best set of lines I have read in a while.

    Yup, thats passion Brian! Good stuff.
    | Posted on 2006-07-19 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, I'm speechless! This should be a song! I can imagine it like.. some Sean Paul beat, lol! I'm amazed. My favorite part is: "I want you like a spoiled kid wants to have it’s way
    Morning, noon, night, near, now, everyday". It was so clever and well written. Usually I give long comments, but this is just amazing. It does get long for some time, but it's worth it, it doesn't bother me, since I was eager to read what else you'd come up with! Oh and the mexican part was funny. This was, at times, sexy and funny, but most of all, charming.
    | Posted on 2006-07-19 00:00:00 | by April0414 | [ Reply to This ]
      Well Well Well....great to see X shedding his grace upon us once again!

    This was a great one! All of the metaphors.....some of them kinda had me lookin like ....but the majority of them had me .

    You chose a rhythm that really complimented the whole write. It wasn't too slow....and it wasn't too fast...yet in some places I noticed the beat a little different then other places.

    This was very passionate. To be able to come up with so many situations.....that can be hard. And I see that you made it look rather easy!

    Much love B.

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2006-07-19 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      i know it says to not give only compliments...

    but i cant think of anything to critique.

    make this a song! it has awesome rhythm!

    wow.

    keep it up.
    | Posted on 2006-07-19 00:00:00 | by FaintShadow37 | [ Reply to This ]
      My Friend this is really an incredible write
    The Flow of this is intense and I would Love to hear this write with a matching beat in the background
    Reading this I supplied my own beat and I have to tell you this would be a hit
    Excellent Job
    I look forward to reading more writes from you
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-07-19 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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