um ok. I love that you wanted to capture a moment with words...Poetry...but i didn't feel any substance.... i think you should have described what made you feel that way. I'm sorry that i don't like this. I usually am one of those people sticking up for the short poems but this just had no substance.
I see no title, that's good. ahhh I have seen so much better out of you're writting. i suggest you try it again maybe add to it like the night is falling into day and there is nothing I can say to make it go away,no matter what I say or write or type I cannot sotp it from happening the ending of this moment. even at that the reader will be glad when it is over. for there is no reason given as to the way you feel. Or more so what the feeling is. Inside one of my poems I have hiddin feelings that as the reader reads it unlocks feelings within the reader. They are false feeling misread and yet when understood the reader is over whelmed by the solving of the riddled poem I suggest you read The Maze next time you are at my site. It's a suggestion on what one can do with feelings other then display them. They can be twisted into something they are not. Only later to be released by the things burried and yet fogot. Well have a good one Freak hope you do read The Maze and hope you like it. lots read it few comment lol oh well