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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Foreseer
    ASL Info:    20/F/In Love
    Elite Ratio:    2.73 - 156/86/23
    Words: 128
    Class/Type: Poetry/Trapped
    Total Views: 1326
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 818



    Description:
       Can't explain, 'nough said.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsuntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I stare at my mirror
    trying to find what's wrong with me.
    I turn away not realizing,
    but really, not wanting to see.

    Who was that girl
    staring back at me?
    Her face set
    in sorrow and pain.

    Why was that girl
    staring back at me?
    Her eyes filled
    with unshed tears.

    When was that girl
    beginning to stare back at me?
    Her whole frame trying to
    push away whoever came to see.

    As the hours passed by
    leaving only silence.
    The mirror met my eyes,
    reflecting its image
    that couldn't help
    but be engraved into mind.

    Whatever I held back
    found its way out.
    I don't think
    I can mention that.




    Submitted on 2006-07-19 22:35:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Its could....and i agree with wat the other person said it is a little unclear....but still really good...the way it was written holds some mystery or secret...but maybe its time to let that secret out! well anyone really good poem and i enjoyed reading...so good job....so keep up the good work!

    Brittany
    | Posted on 2006-07-20 00:00:00 | by dark_secrets_ | [ Reply to This ]
      this is really good. But to me it seems a little unclear. The last part where it says you dont think you can mention that. Maybe you should. Cause to me i know its probly hard to write about it but sometimes you got to. to get it out to make you feel better. But i still do like this keep it up! <33
    | Posted on 2006-07-20 00:00:00 | by justkillme08 | [ Reply to This ]
      I can see that you have gone through some changes that have surprised you. I like the 'Who, why and when' at the beginnning of the stanzas; and 'not wanting to see'. You never answer any of your questions and, at the end, leave no answer as to what has changed - making me think. Nice
    J
    | Posted on 2006-08-01 00:00:00 | by deafeningsilenc | [ Reply to This ]


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