Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

untitled


Author: Foreseer
ASL Info:    20/F/In Love
Elite Ratio:    2.73 - 156 /86 /23
Words: 128
Class/Type: Poetry /Trapped
Total Views: 1453
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 818



Description:


Can't explain, 'nough said.


untitled



I stare at my mirror
trying to find what's wrong with me.
I turn away not realizing,
but really, not wanting to see.

Who was that girl
staring back at me?
Her face set
in sorrow and pain.

Why was that girl
staring back at me?
Her eyes filled
with unshed tears.

When was that girl
beginning to stare back at me?
Her whole frame trying to
push away whoever came to see.

As the hours passed by
leaving only silence.
The mirror met my eyes,
reflecting its image
that couldn't help
but be engraved into mind.

Whatever I held back
found its way out.
I don't think
I can mention that.




Submitted on 2006-07-19 22:35:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  Its could....and i agree with wat the other person said it is a little unclear....but still really good...the way it was written holds some mystery or secret...but maybe its time to let that secret out! well anyone really good poem and i enjoyed reading...so good job....so keep up the good work!

Brittany
| Posted on 2006-07-20 00:00:00 | by dark_secrets_ | [ Reply to This ]
  this is really good. But to me it seems a little unclear. The last part where it says you dont think you can mention that. Maybe you should. Cause to me i know its probly hard to write about it but sometimes you got to. to get it out to make you feel better. But i still do like this keep it up! <33
| Posted on 2006-07-20 00:00:00 | by justkillme08 | [ Reply to This ]
  I can see that you have gone through some changes that have surprised you. I like the 'Who, why and when' at the beginnning of the stanzas; and 'not wanting to see'. You never answer any of your questions and, at the end, leave no answer as to what has changed - making me think. Nice
J
| Posted on 2006-08-01 00:00:00 | by deafeningsilenc | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



111292