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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Pretenddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/623/381
    Words: 82
    Class/Type: Personal Quotes/
    Total Views: 766
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 512



    Description:
       I wrote this over three years ago, it was during a difcult time in my life... be completely honest please I want to work on my writing..


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPretenddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I woke this morning
    Remebering I'm simply pretending to be somewhere I am not
    When things go wrong
    I pretend my past isn't real
    I pretend the people I once and still love aren't real
    Accecpting they are gone is not possbile for me
    When I awake in the morning
    I am left with the mistkes of yesterday
    With all my fears and thoughts of my tomorrow
    And knowing that is is reality..
    Is something I'm still coming to terms with




    Submitted on 2006-07-20 02:44:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      moving~
    you mean it~
    i like that~
    | Posted on 2006-09-05 00:00:00 | by ms.v | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey, I really like this poem. It is a nice and loving poem. Even though it is a tad on the short side it is still good... The only thing i would change would be...

    "I pretend my past isn't real
    I pretend the people I once and still love aren't real"

    I would change it to....

    I pretend my past isn't real
    I pretend the people I once loved and still aren't [ another word for real]

    It doesn't flow really well in that section because you used too many of the same words... But other than that the poem is still a great poem.

    R.Bayden
    | Posted on 2006-07-25 00:00:00 | by remedy bayden | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    9. How could it be improved?
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    111306

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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