Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Pretenddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/380
    Words: 82
    Class/Type: Personal Quotes/
    Total Views: 721
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 512



    Description:
       I wrote this over three years ago, it was during a difcult time in my life... be completely honest please I want to work on my writing..


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPretenddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I woke this morning
    Remebering I'm simply pretending to be somewhere I am not
    When things go wrong
    I pretend my past isn't real
    I pretend the people I once and still love aren't real
    Accecpting they are gone is not possbile for me
    When I awake in the morning
    I am left with the mistkes of yesterday
    With all my fears and thoughts of my tomorrow
    And knowing that is is reality..
    Is something I'm still coming to terms with




    Submitted on 2006-07-20 02:44:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      moving~
    you mean it~
    i like that~
    | Posted on 2006-09-05 00:00:00 | by ms.v | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey, I really like this poem. It is a nice and loving poem. Even though it is a tad on the short side it is still good... The only thing i would change would be...

    "I pretend my past isn't real
    I pretend the people I once and still love aren't real"

    I would change it to....

    I pretend my past isn't real
    I pretend the people I once loved and still aren't [ another word for real]

    It doesn't flow really well in that section because you used too many of the same words... But other than that the poem is still a great poem.

    R.Bayden
    | Posted on 2006-07-25 00:00:00 | by remedy bayden | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    111306

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Incubus written by monad
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Linger written by saartha
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    This written by Chelebel
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Song written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry