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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Execution and Homecomingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: chemberdan
    ASL Info:    26, female, Arkansas
    Elite Ratio:    3.16 - 68/122/43
    Words: 78
    Class/Type: Misc/Serious
    Total Views: 911
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 501



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Execution and Homecomingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Expectations sting more
    Than the actual
    Sever
    ing

    In a second it is done
    Beyond repair

    …Shock…

    I am haphazardly
    delivered

    The blur is over,
    Like I had never lived it.

    My home, every need
    Furnished unconditionally

    Helping me, f o r g e t. . .

    The only reminders are
    Unexpected smells
    that cause me to
    pause.




    Submitted on 2006-07-20 03:29:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      For what seems to be a fairly straightforward "breakup" poem, this is quite interesting. It doesn't have the overly morose feel that most people put into pieces on this subject. It's far more subtle. "Unexpected smells" being the key, as it's usually the little things that linger around, forcing remembrance.

    Then again, this could be about a nose job. Or the removal of a benign tumor, though really that and breaking up with someone are pretty similar.

    Anywho, nice write. Keep it up,

    James

    | Posted on 2008-03-05 00:00:00 | by FallenGrace | [ Reply to This ]
      I can see by the date this was posted that this was not from a personal experience, but it fits now. I feel this way except in reverse. I'm still here but you're gone.
    I still live in the house that we use to live in. I still sleep in the room that we use to share. Sometimes I still find your hair...
    | Posted on 2007-04-07 00:00:00 | by x514 | [ Reply to This ]
      I relate to this on a personal level but my interpretation could be off. That is the beauty of art. interpretation. Although seeming straight foreward someone could pick up something else entirely. As for me this reminds me of a breakup I had and when the girl moved out and I rearranged the room to forget. Then one night as I lay my head on my pillow to sleep, that damn smell. It was her. It's good when you can read, hear, or see a work of art and "feel" it, ya know? Good job. Sorry bout my rambling. I suck at comments.

    6
    | Posted on 2007-02-07 00:00:00 | by fryte | [ Reply to This ]
      Oooh Kim this is a good one. Call me and we'll do something totally pleasant and unproductive very soon.
    Now about this piece:



    Expectations sting more
    Than the actual
    Sever
    ing *very cool breaking it up like that*

    In a second it is done
    Beyond repair *oh the finality*

    …Shock…

    I am haphazardly
    delivered *the use of the word delivered is a nice touch... like you were in a daze and someone had to move you*

    The blur is over,
    Like I had never lived it. *good job conveying the surreal feeling of your situation*

    My home, every need
    Furnished unconditionally *should be comforting, but for some reason is not*

    Helping me, f o r g e t. . . *I like the spaces... they kind of imply the gaps developing in memories*

    The only reminders are
    Unexpected smells
    that cause me to
    pause.
    *I hate when that happens!*


    This is a good piece. You've done well to convey these emotions. Very personal and feels real. Call me soon.
    Jess
    | Posted on 2006-07-20 00:00:00 | by parabola | [ Reply to This ]
      This write I believe describes something I do with each new day
    I throw away all the sadness and negativity that has tryed to absorb my life and create a new state of being filled with the positive
    You worded this well and I definately feel a sense of Peace reading this
    Great Job
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron

    You look very pretty in your picture on your page!!!
    | Posted on 2006-07-20 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]


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