Description: a broken heart doesn't always speak clearly, but a scrambled mind still thinks straight. love shouldn't always get a second chance, something can't be forgiven. here is my lifes take on what happen to me. this is part one(1) by the way.
Heartbreak and hopes -------------------------------------------
On my knees
Give me today to hope that the world would just give up.
My hopes and dreams
In the events that just took place.
A love lost
A dream broke
And believe me there's still hope
That this will may surpass
The worst mistakes in my past.
Maybe love thats fresh
Can't withstand your selfishness.
See it through my eyes
Listening to all your lies
My heart broke with one kiss
Where was I While you did this?
And again you still asked
If I stay 'till the end of days.
In my heart I hope that my lungs would just give up.
So these pains would go away
But no again I just stayed.
But then he came
Said a talk would heal the pains
I gave up all hope that you would help
That maybe love would help itself.
Not a chance was left
I left you
I just gave up.
Then you came in tears and pain
Telling me I didn't stay in vain
But the rage that was held up was more than enough
To put an end to my love.
You stayed away for far to long
I forgot to breathe in a way
It was my turn to turn away.
burning deep enraged in hate
You had simply learned to care for me
what was I to do but rate just how much
I had once cared for you.
To this day I don't understand what it was
Or whats left of this love
I took you back
For one last chance.
I don't know why I still look back
Maybe in time I'll forgive
what you did.
I'm really very very very very sorry for commenting so late on this one!! But like I told you before that I don't come here so often like before so whenever you leave to me a message I might see it late & to avoid that you can send to me a mail -if you want of course- on firstname.lastname@example.org so that I'll be able to naswer faster next time.
Anyway; What's interesting about this one is that you said it's real!! It's true and that what makes this one different because it's full of feelings, different kinds of feelings, like Sadness, Fear and may be even regret as well!!
I won't comment on this according to the usual standards, I won't take about the title nor the images and not about any spelling mistakes because what I care about is YOU!! I just want to know how are you?! And how do you feel?!
I wrote a thought lately called "I'm Letting You Go", where I say;
"And now after all what you have said & done, after all the pain you have caused I forgive you, BUTů I'm letting you go!!"
Hm...well I don't know what to say, at the beginning of the poem, you had some really nice words, and I was moved, but towards the end, it just like stopped. Or maybe I'm just totally disappointed that you took him back(not that I never made that same mistake myself, only it was the 9th chance, not the second...) The poem was really sad, but I say again, I had the pictures in my mind towards the beginning, but towards the end, it was black. "To this day I don't understand what it was Or whats left of this love I took you back For one last chance.
I don't know why I still look back Maybe in time I'll forgive what you did. " Hm...I don't know, like it like it, but maybe it was too long, and you lost yourself a bit, I can't understand what I'm trying to say. It was like, I was reading it all interested, and I got to the end, and it was like. "Oh." This is really sad though, and quite good, but maybe it's too long. Oh bother, don't listen to me. Good job. Walk in Love and Light, ~Azura*