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    dots Submission Name: untitleddots

    Author: luvy
    ASL Info:    19/F/AZ
    Elite Ratio:    4.45 - 270/168/35
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 620
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 678


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    The darkness is inviting
    Reaching out it embraces and surrounds me
    and payng attention to whats happening to me
    One dark hand comforts while the other takes my will to be
    My surroundings get darker when i realise no one is reaching out for me
    WHo cares ight i dont need them
    The tear that was tracing my face falls and i hear it echo
    With that tear goes all my emotions
    My fear my anger my lonliness surrounds me in that echo
    I look ahead and all i see is darkness thats all i ever see is darkness

    Submitted on 2006-07-20 14:21:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      One dark hand comforts while the other takes my will to be

    that was really the only line i liked from this one. the imagery was kinda good but i wasn't really feeling the rest of it. i agree with morbid angel though, u should name it "darkness" or something like that. and u should change ur age on ur profile since ur 16 now
    | Posted on 2006-09-12 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      y is everything untitled?? HEY U STOP BEING SAD U STUPID WHORE!! im still here!! yay!! kaila is still HERE!! WEEEEEEEEEEE!! arent u excited!??? U SHOULD BE WHORE!! cuz i love u SOOOOO MUCH!! this was good! i liked when u were talkin about when da tear fell u heard an echo that was pretty cool! i love u SOOOOO MUCH! i tell u that every day right?? so y be so lonesome!!??? WERE GOING TO MEXICO SO PACK UR BAGS WE GONNA PARTTYYYYY!
    | Posted on 2006-09-10 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Interesting, the "untitled" kind of fits it. Not even I can come up with any titles to help you really. Maybe "darkness"? or "reaching darkness"? That's normally what I do when I cannot think of a title, just take a good word from the poem itself. The only problem I came across was the spelling, it sort of took away from the poem. Don't forget to review over your work (I know, it can be so tedious) but it really does help. I probably read my poems over and over...and over...and over..lol. Anyways, good luck!

    | Posted on 2006-07-20 00:00:00 | by MorbidAngel114 | [ Reply to This ]

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