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Loving You


Author: junemarie
ASL Info:    62,F, Port Richey, Fl.
Elite Ratio:    3.19 - 66 /70 /27
Words: 168
Class/Type: Poetry /The pain inside
Total Views: 1169
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1022



Description:




Loving You



This pain in my heart's like a razor
'Causing my heart to bleed
The tears in my eyes are like raindrops
Falling on all your misdeeds.

You tell me you love me, then hurt me
When I need you, you always desert me
You call it love and I call it pain
Why stay around when there's nothing to gain
I want so to go, but still I remain...loving you.

I pray every night that He'll free me
From this hell where no one can see me
So lost in your world and feeling so numb
Not liking this person I've slowly become.

A person who's split in so many parts
Picking up pieces of my broken heart.
Living on memories of our distant past
Wondering why we just can't seem to last.

How long can I keep holding on
Feeling the pain from twilight to dawn
This torment that my soul goes through
From loving you...From loving you.




Submitted on 2006-07-20 18:39:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  i really liked this poem....the rhyme flowed nicely and this poem could easily be made into a very good song if the right music was placed behind it i think i really loved this part

"I pray every night that He'll free me
From this hell where no one can see me
So lost in your world and feeling so numb
Not liking this person I've slowly become."

I feel like i can really relate to the rfeeling of becoming numb and hating who u have become feelin trapped....its a terrible feeling but most can relate if not all at one time or another, anywayz good job!
| Posted on 2006-07-28 00:00:00 | by rhen | [ Reply to This ]
  I liked this poem. It reminds me of the many poems I written. I like that you used rhyme, something I can't do. I liked the whole poem but my favorite part was,

You tell me you love me, then hurt me
When I need you, you always desert me
You call it love and I call it pain
Why stay around when there's nothing to gain
I want so to go, but still I remain...loving you.

I pray every night that He'll free me
From this hell where no one can see me
So lost in your world and feeling so numb
Not liking this person I've slowly become.



--I have gone through similar things, as I write in my poems. Good work.


x-- Diamond.
| Posted on 2006-07-21 00:00:00 | by Qutedia7 | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a good poem. I can feel the emotion in it and the pain this person is going through. I myself have gone through situations very similiar. It's hard to let someone go when you've become so attached to them. It's like no matter how bad they treat you; you just can't seem to let them go. Overall this is a great poem, and I enjoyed the read. :)

~Cris
| Posted on 2006-07-22 00:00:00 | by my_worst_fear85 | [ Reply to This ]
  Pretty good poem. Reminds me of poems I've made myself. You could work a bit with the words, so it wouldn't seem so common, because there are so many poems with the same theme. Though, I know it's kinda hard. This is my favorite part: "I pray every night that He'll free me
From this hell where no one can see me
So lost in your world and feeling so numb
Not liking this person I've slowly become."
I liked this part because it's the part that striked me. Specially the last line there. Also, I have to say that I relate to this a lot, back when I felt this way. If you're feeling that way, then hold on. Because, there's always a tomorrow, and things change and get better (and worse in different places, but that's life!).
| Posted on 2006-07-20 00:00:00 | by April0414 | [ Reply to This ]


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