Alright, this past week I've become a huge fan of haiku and senryu, writing a few of them and reading a number as well. And I have to say I like think this may be the best senryu I've read yet. I really like it.
As for the rules, I think you've got 'em all down. Three lines: Check. 17 or less syllables: Check. Expressing of human issues or such: Check. Two seperate parts: Check. Yep, so I think you've got yourself a geniune senryu here. And a beautiful one at that.
I'm absolutely in love with the second line. I really like the word armor for some reason... I think it works well in love poems, both becasue of the idea it expresses, and it's resemblence to amor... but I'm weird like that. Anyway, yep, this is good. I love the quote. Yep, quotes in poems--another thing I really like. All of this, plus the fact that the entire senryu itself is beautiful, really draw me into this piece. Great job.
Submission Name: An untitled senyru
