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    dots Submission Name: Mt. Lovedots

    Author: beatthedrum
    ASL Info:    55- F - Southern CA USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.18 - 881/810/122
    Words: 49
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1027
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 338


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    dotsMt. Lovedots

    A soundless whisper on skin
    awakens deep strata of soul.
    The beloved breathes being.
    Tremors foretell the explosion.
    With a kiss, she becomes nothing
    real, rationalized or recognized,
    powerful plumes pouring
    as molten stone, flowing fire
    sliding on slopes of Mt. Love.

    Submitted on 2006-07-22 18:19:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is a very good passionate poem. That is really the only suggestion I have for you on this one is that I feel it is more passion than love and perhaps would better be classified that way but either way it does work. Love is also very passionate, just like in this poem and I suppose if you are deeply in love with someone, the passion is that much more. I think you did a fine job with this poem. The imagery here is wonderful and perfect for the theme. I think the title fits perfectly and see nothing I would change with this poem. Well done. Tasteful yet hot and steamy!

    | Posted on 2006-07-29 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      I like your poem! Could of been a little longer? Butr it was a great read!!!
    Kelley Frost
    | Posted on 2006-07-29 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      Quite the orgasm, at least thats what i got from this. Am i on target at least?

    | Posted on 2006-07-22 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! rightback at ya! Talk abou timagery this was breathtakingLy beautiful.

    Gives newmeaning to "Light my Fire" :)

    If I understand this, it is a beautiful way to describe loves explosion erupting into an earth shaking orgasm in which one is totally lost and consumed in pure emotion and physical pleasure.

    Well done!

    | Posted on 2006-07-22 00:00:00 | by SHRINKSDR | [ Reply to This ]
      very sultry, Christine.. quite the rapture. knowing you as i think i do, there is also the presence of the Divine here and the breath of life that it gives to us..

    wonderful explosion of love in this.

    | Posted on 2006-07-22 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      Ooo, I love this one Chystine, because I got the powerful image of the red hot lava flowing, to symbolize the red hot love, and this was just pretty powerful. My favorite line has to be "The beloved breathes being." This is pretty powerful stuff, and like magnikitty said, i definetely could see the power of wholeness here, and the Divine breath, and that is love. This is pretty eplosive stuff, and made my night, or morning, it is 12:55 am. I'm glad I read this before I went to bed though, it'll make my sleep a good experience. Maybe I'll dream of volcanoes tonight. Amazingly breathtaking write.
    Walk in Love and Light,
    | Posted on 2006-07-23 00:00:00 | by EmpathicAya | [ Reply to This ]
      This is nicely done. It's very sensual. I like your use of alliteration in this because it's perfect: it's not unnoticable and not in the realm of the tongue twister. The only thing I didn't love 100% was giving the volcano the name Mt. Love; I think I'd have preferred general volcano imagery, but it's your call (and your title).

    Wonderful work (to be alliterative),
    | Posted on 2006-07-24 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      This one is good, but since i am a beginer it takes me several time reading this one in order to get the meaning. Maybe because this one is a short poem.

    This is a good work, is this kind of modern poetry? Which not separated by stanza or this is a kind of haiku? Sorry for asking i am really a beginer.

    Keep it up

    | Posted on 2006-09-02 00:00:00 | by garnet4david | [ Reply to This ]

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