Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Behind Myselfdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mr. Creep
    ASL Info:    16. Female. Here
    Elite Ratio:    1.97 - 96/177/112
    Words: 145
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1090
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 819



    Description:
       I can see myself doing things but I cant help it. as if my mind is addicted but my soul is screaming stop!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBehind Myselfdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I watch myself walking out the door,
    I cry over myself on the floor.
    I can see myself killing me slow,
    and I can tell you allot more than ill ever know.
    But I can not save myself,
    I just watch me die from aside the shelf.
    and it's not like I never did try,
    but as I watched me from the sky,
    I wondered If when I dream,
    I could be happier than I seem.
    And things could be bright once again,
    but I doubt It would be the same as back then.
    I still watch myself do all these painful things,
    like a puppetier I wish I could control the strings.
    But I cannot control my mind,
    to bad there is not a switch I could find.
    That could stop me from killing me,
    I guess this mistake was ment to be...




    Submitted on 2006-07-22 18:32:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this poem made me feel the pain explained in it. great work, only thing you should watch is your spelling....keep it up
    </3 lisa
    | Posted on 2006-07-22 00:00:00 | by 777sacrites777 | [ Reply to This ]
      i really liked this one too you are a really great poet and i like all of your work that i've read so far. you capture the feeling really well and this one was a little confusing but i understood it just fine so you did a really great job on this i really liked it
    | Posted on 2006-07-22 00:00:00 | by gothfreak | [ Reply to This ]
      You're a really talented poet. Keep up the awesome work... this poem had a dark edge to it, i loved it.

    - R. Bayden
    | Posted on 2006-07-23 00:00:00 | by remedy bayden | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    111637

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry