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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Distant Memory...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Kimmy
    ASL Info:    18/f/Ar
    Elite Ratio:    3.11 - 18/32/20
    Words: 186
    Class/Type: Poetry/BrokenHeart
    Total Views: 1094
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1059



    Description:
       my pain....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Distant Memory...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    The crying and unhappiness is my hearts way of telling me it still hurts.
    the look in your eyes when you pass by,
    is cold and solid like we never had anything...
    My heart is filled with the emotions and memories that we shared,
    yet you dare to walk by like you still actually cared.
    how dare you tell me that i was worth something to you and that you still care,
    when you dont even show the slighest sign of helping me when im down. tell me how thats fair?
    Oh, How the sorrow sinks lower to the ground each time you lie to me.
    Betrayal and lies, are all your filled up to be
    You exposed yourself to me,
    Your not a man that faces up to his problems,
    you run and think they'll just go away.
    but this time, your not gunna get your way
    I found out about every lie that you made me believe.
    i was so foolishly in love with you that i couldnt see...
    I'll shred you from being Existent in my life
    you'll only be
    A Distant memory....




    Submitted on 2006-07-23 23:48:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      holy [censored].
    i am experiencing this at this very moment.
    and im adding it to my favorites list.
    im so upset and this just made me accept that im not the only one complaining and feeling this.
    | Posted on 2006-07-24 00:00:00 | by BleedingTears | [ Reply to This ]
      This Poem was unbelievable.It was intense and filled with emotion.I know exactly what u mean. I've just finally got out of the situation. I love your poem it's beautiful
    Keep Writin'

    Kayla
    | Posted on 2006-07-24 00:00:00 | by kapri49 | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem was very dramatic, and it showed a lot of emotion. I could tell that your feelings were pure . . . . and heck . . . . isn't that what poems today are lacking (mine included). You did a great job on this poem.

    By the way . . . . I enjoyed this part the most:

    you run and think they'll just go away.
    but this time, your not gunna get your way
    I found out about every lie that you made me believe.
    i was so foolishly in love with you that i couldnt see...
    I'll shred you from being Existent in my life
    you'll only be
    A Distant memory....


    It actually showed me the most emotion.

    ~ G Freak ~


    >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>>
    | Posted on 2006-07-24 00:00:00 | by GothamFreak | [ Reply to This ]
      graet write and something that alot of people will relate to and get comfort from knowing they are not the only ones in this situation.You put a lot of emotion into this poem and it shows.I enjoyed the read.
    Jamie x
    | Posted on 2006-07-24 00:00:00 | by korn9426 | [ Reply to This ]
      yo the closer to the end you get on here, the better the rhymes get, but further up top, your bars were really long, don't be offended I"m juss tellin you...I got some pretty long bars sometimes too...I'm juss sayin that most of the time the shorter abar is the better it flows ...
    all in all though, this was pretty good

    keep'em comin

    JSells
    | Posted on 2006-07-24 00:00:00 | by maninthemirror | [ Reply to This ]


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