Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: WINTER NEVER FAILS.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: azure_warrior
    ASL Info:    42 /m/ in my mind.
    Elite Ratio:    5.43 - 44/43/32
    Words: 43
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1107
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 303



    Description:
       This short work has been described as "something natural-something like an elder going out in the woods to die. "


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWINTER NEVER FAILS.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    sitting on the ground.
    legs aching.
    the tree is on my back.
    and i try to gain sustenence.
    my life is gone.
    or changed.
    irrevocably.
    sadly dimmed fresh smell of earth.
    all is absorbed.
    everything is taken.
    as i merge again with earth.




    Submitted on 2006-07-24 02:11:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really like this, and it does hit on a poerful topic, the topic of change, which is most realized in the fall, so I love that the title is Autumn never fails, because it could also mean that change never fails, or autumn never fails to bring change. I really like this poem, and I think that title really brings it all together, because if you were to read the title after you read the poem, it's like a poetry wrapper. I love the last line, because it's imagery is nice, how you merge back into th earth, as we all get rounded up, and taken for a ride in the cycle. A really nice write indeed.
    Walk in Love and Light,
    ~Azura*
    | Posted on 2006-07-24 00:00:00 | by EmpathicAya | [ Reply to This ]
      The first thing that attracts me to this piece is that it's a minimalist piece. I'm all about minimalism. The second thing that attracts me, is, this is a great poem!

    sitting on the ground.
    legs aching.
    the tree is on my back.

    This sounds like our, protaginist, is pretty worn out. Legs aching implies that this person has been traveling, or done a lot of walking, making a strenuous journey. I like how you said he was sitting against the tree. The tree is on my back, as opposed me back being on the tree. Very interesting.

    The title falls in like Aya said, with Autumn representing change in the line "or changed." And then we find our character dying. Letting go. The journey is finally done. This person sounds pretty in tune with nature, just reading that from the last line.

    I really liked this. It was good stuff. Reading it, I keep get a phrase playing through my head: Winter always follows Autumn. Anyway, good write.

    Justin :D
    | Posted on 2006-07-24 00:00:00 | by IamYourTragedy | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    111879

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry