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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Merry-Go-Rounddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Mr. Creep
    ASL Info:    16. Female. Here
    Elite Ratio:    1.97 - 96/177/112
    Words: 99
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 984
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 581



    Description:
       This is honestly not one of my favorites but It has emotion.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMerry-Go-Rounddots
    -------------------------------------------


    The days go by like the wind through the trees,
    While the years only add up to how many times you find yourself on your knees.
    Screaming at yourself for how often you wake up hungover,
    But after a long day oh how you wish you had stayed sober.
    But you never seem to have time anymore,
    to count the times that you said life was a bore,
    Still you slowly waste your life away,
    acting as a broken record everyday.
    And as days go by like a merry-go-round,
    You'll find yourself lying there not making a sound...




    Submitted on 2006-07-24 11:52:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This poem has a lot of potential. The only real issue that I see is the forced rhyming. This piece might be more effective in free verse. You have beautiful word choice and I think the rhyme scheme takes away from that aspect of your piece. I enjoyed reading it, thanks.
    | Posted on 2006-07-24 00:00:00 | by xxxpunky_fishxx | [ Reply to This ]


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    111929

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    January 10 07
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