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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Obliviondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Guernica
    ASL Info:    17/male
    Elite Ratio:    2.87 - 77/114/67
    Words: 179
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 1104
    Average Vote:    3.5000
    Bytes: 1042



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsObliviondots
    -------------------------------------------


    If I were to tell you the secrets of the ocean
    Why it looks so deep
    Why the water's green and blue
    Why the waves crash and do not stop

    Why the ocean wouldn't look so blue anymore
    Why the ocean would seem so shallow, so empty
    The waves would seem to die

    If the horizon line grew shorter
    And you took it in your palm
    And you slung the violets and the reds from it
    Why you'd never cry again

    Why the sky wouldn't seem to bleed
    Why the clouds would always appear gray
    The night would just be night

    If the planet grew too cold
    And there were no sheets to keep you warm
    And the fields would all just fade
    And the rocks would all just break

    Why I'd still love the land
    I'd still love the ocean and the sky and the fields and the rocks
    I would not leave on that rocket ship to oblivion
    I'd stay right here with you




    Submitted on 2006-07-24 17:08:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this seems like something you would whisper in a lovers ear while they are dozing off to sleep. i like it.
    | Posted on 2006-07-26 00:00:00 | by fbeat | [ Reply to This ]
      good try, i can see the point you were trying to get to...but i wasn't feelin it. keep working at it.
    </3 lisa
    | Posted on 2006-07-24 00:00:00 | by 777sacrites777 | [ Reply to This ]
      I really enjoyed the imagery of this piece. I think the flow was wonderful and I really enjoyed the feeling it evoked. Nice Job
    | Posted on 2006-07-24 00:00:00 | by xxxpunky_fishxx | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow... Oh my gosh.. amazing amazing amazing!!!!!!!

    ~*Jackie*~
    | Posted on 2006-07-25 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]
      Interesting, i like this piece very much, i lvoe the imagery its very good, and the flow goes well, then ending is great...definitely going on my favs...good job...keep it up..

    -Anya:)
    | Posted on 2006-07-24 00:00:00 | by FarawayFeelings | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this alot,this has great imagery and i just like the picture it paints in my head,this was excellent and i enjoyed it very much
    | Posted on 2006-07-24 00:00:00 | by Master Bates | [ Reply to This ]
      wow.. i like it alot.. i agree with Master Bates. It has alot of imagery and i can see everyting
    | Posted on 2006-07-24 00:00:00 | by od9.1.04 | [ Reply to This ]
      Pretty good write.
    | Posted on 2006-07-25 00:00:00 | by EseanB | [ Reply to This ]


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