Description: I had a conversation with a friend today, who fell for my insane ex(seriously insane not figuratively). And she said that to him she could never measure up to me and my thoughts ran to the fact that I changed to become what he wanted and he never really saw me. So to him I am a dream, a fantasy, and an unreachable goal. I am nothing substantial. I am an idea he can change on a whim.
i think that's the way people work. It doesn't matter how honest you try to be, there is always an exterior that people see; an exterior that is built up through years of practice (everyone practices on their exterior). Of course in the end, people are a lot more perceptive than they are given credit for. our interiors are seen to some degree, whether we know it or not. So even if you do believe you were a total lie to him, i imagine he knows you better than you think.
i understand where you are coming from. it's easy to relate to. But since you've brought up the topic, i think it's almost fair to question the existence of this poem. Are you bearing false teeth, so to speak, as you say you have done in this poem? ok, so i know i'm straying away from the main theme, which is a bit of regret and self-loathing, but is the poem another exterior? Do you really feel you were a lie, or are you lying to yourself again?
well, i don't really know what i'm hitting at. just opening those russian dolls, i guess. There's some subtlety to the idea that's worth exploring.
I don't know what to say Ö. I havenít been around much lately but I have to say that I donít remember having felt so deeply identified with a write Ö.
What you say here had a great effect on me Ö. I happen to be on a relationship, you know Ö and Iíve been trying to change things that I'm not really sure that can be changed Ö.. many times have I mused upon breaking up though I havenít got the courage and Iíd be risking too much were I to do that. I feel overly guilty for asking things that I might never get Ö or for going berserk all the timeÖ. Itís weird coz I feel as if I were acting just as your counter part did Ö. And I simply donít want to Ö
I was delighted by the first stanza I believe this is the most powerful part of the poem together with the lines
ďI can not be what I wish Because then I wouldn't be his needĒ
Those are golden lines.
Well, I donít want to say more apart form the fact that this is going straight to my favís and Iíll reread every now and again hoping this has a further effect on me.