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    dots Submission Name: Familiardots

    Author: sunset
    ASL Info:    21/F/Melb, Australia
    Elite Ratio:    4.45 - 76/46/32
    Words: 131
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1079
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 822

       Once again this is from a while ago when I was questioning myself

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    In the shadow of sleep
    It is a little less warm
    Without your arms around me
    I falter at the thought
    Of your goodnight kisses
    So soft and sweet,
    So familiar…
    My friends all say
    That this distance is the key
    But my weary mind wonders
    If it will make a difference
    Will you miss my smile?
    Will you even miss me?
    I lie longing for you
    Knowing you are not mine
    Yet you have my heart
    Dreaming of a day
    When I won’t have to
    Question myself
    When I will be able to feel
    And not be guilty
    For offering you my heart
    For offering you me
    Because you want me too…
    But I feel the cold
    Your arms are not around me
    Lonely again,
    So familiar…

    Submitted on 2006-07-24 22:56:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      well I've been reading your stuff for the last little while here...seems to be a theme...
    here is what I see and maybe how I would have gone at it (only my humble opinions, of course)

    In the shadow of sleep
    I'm a little less me
    without your arms surrounding
    I stumble upon thoughts
    of goodnight kisses
    soft and sweet
    and so familiar...
    My friends all believe
    that the distance
    is somehow the key
    my weary mind wonders
    will you even miss me?
    or anything I am?
    I long for you
    knowing you are not mine
    and still you own my heart...

    anyway, thats just me, I think like most of what I have read, this is a strong start and could definitely be taken much deeper. I know sometimes I will post something here and come back to it days even weeks later and see words written in a completely different light.
    well then, I will for sure keep reading, your work has obvious heart and soul behind it and that is a beautiful thing.

    | Posted on 2006-08-27 00:00:00 | by Milo shanley | [ Reply to This ]

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