Description: I was deep in thought... i don't know how to describe it.
The end? -------------------------------------------
Does this world have any meaning?
Is this that place thats so deceiving?
I lay in that one corner of my room
Where i pretend to have a friend
I lay in that mist of dark dreary gloom
For I wonder if this is truly the end.
Is this that life of sorrow and death
Of all who seem to know
Is this truly the end
The end of time and not
some freaky horror show
Will you just sit there and watch
all those people die
or
Will you just sit there and laugh
while people cry
This life of sadness and rain
This lifetime only has a lifetime of years
For People these days in pain
Have all there life n more to shed tears
Of this life they want to regain
hey, okay well first off let me say that I liked your overall concept..and I agree, sometimes life seems pointless and like way too much suffering for a stoic end anyway. (though I don't see death as exceedingly stoic, I guess a better word is 'generic' if you're feeling that down.) This was an okay write but it could have been improved, your rhymes seemed a bit forced and like you were basing too much on rhythem and not enough on content or how it read in other aspects. all in all this was good, but I'm sure if you wait a while and go back and revise that you'll find it's even better with a few improvisions
keep writing,
~Jess
Submission Name: The end?
