a selfish kiss

Author: LameMansTerms ASL Info:    36/M/Hermosa Beach, Ca Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 713 /1012 /165 Words: 58

Class/Type: Poetry /Love Total Views: 1740 Average Vote:    3.5000 Bytes: 388

Description:

---

a selfish kiss

---

a selfish kiss She looked at me from across the room. The smoke doesn’t cloud any of her beauty. Strangers not in the way of me feeling stranger than I ever thought possible for me. 100 people but not one exists. For that moment it was just us who shared a kiss. lamemansterms

Submitted on 2006-07-25 07:11:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_< 2: I dunno... 3: meh! 4: Pretty cool 5: Wow!

Comments

ooh, i like this one. it's short but sweet. i'm a sucker for poems like this. i love all the romance, and kisses and fireworks...you get the picture. i don't think it needs anything else, its you, and her, everything else fades away...i think this is gorgeous! yeah, me again!! whirl**

| Posted on 2006-10-19 00:00:00 | by whirl | [ Reply to This ]

hey where's the end...? damn this is like a sandwich that i take a bite of and somebody ushers it a way... where's the beef, chicken, turkey something kid! Don't leave me hanging... give me the aftermath.

| Posted on 2006-07-28 00:00:00 | by JTrickly | [ Reply to This ]

Hmmm very enticing piece. I gotta say it has that captivating element. Very beautifully writen and I appreciate the simplicity of your piece. My favourite verse " For that moment it was just us who shared a kiss". There's something very moving about that line....A meticulous write...Thank you for sharing....BE HAPPY...Nobantu

| Posted on 2006-07-25 00:00:00 | by Nobantu | [ Reply to This ]

Whoa...dude...this was...well...totally not what I expected. I will totally admit...I didn't look at the author until after I had clicked on the title and it brought me to this. From what I read from you before...this is a very different kind of piece comming from you isn't it? All I can really say is that...it isn't really a shelfish kiss...do you really want to share it with all of the other sleeze balls in the bar? (lol...couldn't resist). I love the amount of honesty that came out in this. And...I really love that moment...when you two are the only two people in the bar. It's just awesome. Aynways...that's all I got...ttyl man ~Jess

| Posted on 2006-07-25 00:00:00 | by shmuzzelle | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest. 2. Try not to give only compliments. 3. How did it make you feel? 4. Why did it make you feel that way? 5. Which parts? 6. What distracted from the piece?

7. What was unclear? 8. What does it remind you of? 9. How could it be improved? 10. What would you have done differently? 11. What was your interpretation of it? 12. Does it feel original?

112048