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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: my moving roomdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Rue
    ASL Info:    16/F/the dark side
    Elite Ratio:    4.54 - 244/182/44
    Words: 241
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1399
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1617



    Description:
       well, this is all, about how I'm moving to Missouri, aka, Misery... I'll be able to get a dog and have a new room, but right now my house is full of boxes...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsmy moving roomdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Walking to the hangman's noose
    Are walls ready to be painted white
    To be stripped of all possession
    Void of coloured light

    As the executioner I wield an ax of bristles
    They're flaming antique white
    In my house of impersonal boxes
    This is quite the sordid fight

    For I don't want to cease the aesthetics
    But the posters have been packed
    And for a silly security deposit
    Up against bare walls I'm backed

    Iíll get another room, somewhere
    And the posters will get unpacked
    And all the boxes, so high
    Impersonally they'll be unstacked

    Material values compacted
    Opened like treasure chests each one
    All just waiting to be rearranged
    I want a window that won't face the sun

    Was hoping for a garden, maybe
    A place to race off and jump, swim
    What colours should I paint my new walls?
    What colour should I paint the trim?

    I suppose it doesn't really matter
    So long as the music is loud as right now
    Jim Morrison remains, tacked on the ceiling
    He's angry he has to come down

    Leaving my uprooted mushrooms here
    Hopefully I can grow some anew
    Alice is staying behind with fun times
    Depressing how I donít have a clue

    Incense will smoke up the air in Misery
    And a bit of the bench shop will follow
    A furry best friend waits unknowing
    Near the far side of Misery's hollow




    Submitted on 2006-07-25 11:24:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hi Rue..its been a while, but i just decided to stop by and read some of your work. I really like this poem, shows all the emotion that follows when moving to a new place.

    Material values compacted
    Opened like treasure chests each one
    All just waiting to be rearranged
    I want a window that won't face the sun

    Absolutely brilliant lines, especially the last one. Keep it up. Hope to read more soon.
    | Posted on 2007-02-19 00:00:00 | by caspian | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked the rhyme shceme it was a good poem a hopeful one
    | Posted on 2007-02-01 00:00:00 | by williamwallace7 | [ Reply to This ]
      Rue, your talent is showing again. You improve all the time when you really try.

    What I really like about this one is the thought you put into it.

    One of your best writes. All the best in Misery...lol Lucky for the internet, heh?

    be happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2006-08-11 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Now, first off, I have a question. What's the proper way to spell color? I see lots of people around here spelling it with a 'u' and I was always taught that it didnt have a 'u'. I cant find the word colour in any dictionary either. Just wondering if you knew?

    I am a sucker for writing that can capture a feeling or emotion and "take the reader there", as this one did. The ending wasnt particularly strong though. Maybe swapping the last two stanzas? Hmmm...I dunno...just rambling and thinking.

    Anyway, I liked the Morrison part, that was very good.

    Good luck on the move Rooo-ba-doooo!
    | Posted on 2006-07-25 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]


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