Description: Sometimes...I've hated the life I've led so far. I feel forgotten, the last person to be thought of.
I think there are people who get called, people who people call occassionally, and the people who always have to call others.
And I'm the one who has to call everyone else. Because no one really needs me. People have gone on without me being there and they probably would be able to keep going even with me gone.
I've had to annoy people to talk to me or call...or just hang out sometimes. And the entire time, I'm joked upon. I'm referred to as just being an annoyance. And after awhile...you just wonder if you really have friends...if you'll even be remembered. You feel like no one recalls you're alive. That if something goes wrong....instead of people calling you to tell you about it...they mention it when you call them...like they suddenly recalled you didn't know about it.
Fade Into Obscurity -------------------------------------------
Faded reflections of who I use to be
Worn-out pictures that were of me
Of a child with curious new eyes
Couldn't see the wonderful lies
Use to know happiness everyday
And there was never a grey
Everything was right in memory
But its all entropic history
Crumbling...
To dust like news clippings
As my past keeps slipping
Childhood like a movie long ago
A scripted dialogue I don't know
Broken faith that once was whole
That use to belong to this soul
Innocence seeming to have not been
And I don't know where to begin
To start over...
With a new set of eyes and memories
To rid myself of tears and miseries
To forget and remember it again
To be tainted and forgiven
I feel so far from where I started
And the child inside and me are parted
A sense of disconnection within me
No longer part of these memories
Forgotten....
By time who cruelly wore me down
As the world continued to spin round
I stand like an extra waiting to be called
But the curtain has already falled
Am I a part of this life any more?
What was all this for?
These questions I never hear a reply
And I wonder...when was I meant to die?
Pleading....
To justify this existence I've led
To explain why these lies were fed
That I could change the things wrong
That I let myself be fooled for so long
And just wanting to let go
No longer knowing what I know
To just fade away completely
Finish off the ghost that is me...
Hmm...I can't really find a reference to the description in the poem itself...maybe you should have made a clear point if the phone-calling and lack of freinds was what you were trying to signalize. Or was that simbolized by the reference to childhood? And that's a bit of a problem with this poem and some of the things you write in general.
They're abstract, but not too metaphorical, although I liked the curtain falling one, it lifted up the spirits. And you talk about yourself, but not in a way we can see things too clearly. Writing in an ambiguous way can be really cool, but when this is done kind of superficially, well, the poem loses it's charm and becomes pretty tedious to read, and moreover, it has nothing special, nothing personal, no spark or something that can remain in your soul. I understand you feel sad and abandoned, but these are really powerful feelings that can inspire great writings, something spectacular. Pain has potential if you know how to use it.
It's not as if I'm trying to influence your entire writing style. Or maybe I am and surely I'll achieve nothing because, hey, I'm a stranger and why listen to what I blab about? Thing is you have a way with words and it's a pity not to use a talent. See, for example Broken Angel Wings...I loved it, because there was something there, something real. So it was kickass...maybe you should try writing more stuff like that. I kinow it pisses you off when ppl only read one of your things, but I would repeat myself otherwise. Anyhoz, pm me when you come up with something like Broken angel wings again, k?
No hard feelings, just be trying to express myself.
Submission Name: Fade Into Obscurity
