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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: to walk out that doordots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: unknown soldier
    ASL Info:    17/kenner, La (N.O)
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 1348/1346/203
    Words: 625
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 1588
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3580



    Description:
       me and munchie be bleeding through the mic. lol. this is about a couple who are falling apart. i play the male obviously and munchie is my significant other. holla


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsto walk out that doordots
    -------------------------------------------


    (Unknown Soldier)
    I donít think Iíd be able to cope if you walked out that door
    Like Prince, wondering why you never call me anymore
    Been together for a few years and I was hoping for many more
    The love that we shared is what we were envied for
    I know I fucked up and you can either condemn me orÖ
    Stay with me and make what we had truly unbreakable
    I thought out love was unshakeable til I found out that Iím highly replaceable
    Your bags are packed and youíre ready to leave
    Gun aimed at my heart and you hold it steady and squeeze
    Trying to destroy the advantages that our enemies seize
    They use our feelings against us and Love can kill with the deadliest ease
    Thatís why Iím telling you please
    You want me to grovel and to eventually plead
    I need you to live but your content when I bleed
    Gotta break this dependency
    You know what you meant to me
    I wanted to father your kids and be married for half a century
    I just hope that I can find you and remind you
    Of all the love and affection that youíre currently blind to
    Maybe itís too late
    You walked out the door and you closed it behind you

    (Munchie_1226)
    I'll take your love with me when I walk out the door,
    I no longer feel like your woman I feel more like your whore.
    The emotions are no longer natural they feel more like a chore.
    When I tried to cry out my heart, you chose to ignore.
    Now that it's down to the line, you show the attention.
    When before this moment, it was out your comprehension..
    To be by my side when I was feeling neglected.
    Didn't ask for the finer things, just wanted to be respected.
    Just wanted to know that I was your number one.
    How can we lose, when we had already won?
    So many times shared, yet so much time lost.
    When you would look in my soul, your name was embossed.
    You can go ahead and call it as you choose.
    After all that you put me through, I paid my dues.
    True I found another man, there is no need to accuse.
    He saw the agony I was in and he chose to defuse..
    The explosion of emotions that you every day had me facing.
    When I was in pain, he was the one embracing.
    So do me a favor and step over to the side.
    You already destroyed my heart, I won't let you take my pride.


    (Unknown Soldier)
    Fuck it, just leave me alone
    Iíll be fine if I could just be on my own
    Trapped in this house that I used to see as a home
    You treated me like poultry, taking all the meat off the bone
    Weíre falling apart no matter how happy we seem
    Fucking with no passion after the fighting and after we scream
    What we had was utopia until the Master convened
    Now joy is an ideal and laughterís a dream
    Addicted to drama like Disasterís a fiend
    Canít support this house of love since pain is cracking the beams
    The bastards kept attacking our team until we were completely dismantled
    I couldnít handle all the cheating and scandals
    You used to melt me like wax, now you just blow out the candle
    So now youíre turning the handle as you turn and you face me
    How did I make you hate me enough to replace me?
    I wanted to hit you to get mad and say ďfuck youĒ
    But as you walked out the door I still whispered ďI love youĒ






    Submitted on 2006-07-26 01:29:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I pulled this off of Muchie's fave list and I have to say... DAMN!

    I couldn't figure out who to side with... I read it 4 or 5 times and still couldn't decide if I was mad at him or felt sorry for him. You two did a killer job on this.

    I usually try to critique a little bit but ya'll didn't leave much room for that.

    Defenitely one of my faves!
    | Posted on 2006-10-18 00:00:00 | by kiddo13 | [ Reply to This ]
      hey bubz, i enjoy reading your softer stuff, i liked this a lot, it could become v. catchy, well done, and get it known!
    keep em cummin
    kyrenia
    | Posted on 2006-08-02 00:00:00 | by secret kisses | [ Reply to This ]
      I think that we did a great job on this. I must say....yessir.....likin it. Glad to see that we got such a good response from it as well.

    I want to thank you for giving me the opportunity to do a collab with you. We will have to do it again some time.

    In the meantime.....just keep watchin me roast in the forum.

    JP!

    Much love Troy,

    Li
    | Posted on 2006-08-01 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      hola!!!!this is excellente!!! muy bien!!its a fav!!! anyway i have to go now!!!! good job again 2 da both of yall!!
    ~akaila~
    | Posted on 2006-07-31 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      i really gotta give yall props for this one. im gonna come back in a minute and give yall the proper accolades, but for rite now i gotta go cry about my exgirlfriend. excuse me. lol~P
    | Posted on 2006-07-29 00:00:00 | by Aknahlij_d 1 | [ Reply to This ]
      damn yall, this is good [censored]in remarkably reminds me of my dad and stepmoms situation...cause they be goin through the problems and [censored]
    | Posted on 2006-07-26 00:00:00 | by maninthemirror | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, I could see this whole song unfold in front of my eyes. It's a very unique style, i liked it alot. I wouldn't be surprised if i heard it on the radio in the future. ^.^
    Signed,
    The Angel of Hell
    | Posted on 2006-07-26 00:00:00 | by BloodtornAngel | [ Reply to This ]
      styles mesh like swords and daggers.

    THe created emotion you both put into this were calm and collected with pain protruding with bitter apologies.

    I enjoyed the read. Fav addition no doubt.

    Great lines-
    "You can go ahead and call it as you choose.
    After all that you put me through, I paid my dues.
    True I found another man, there is no need to accuse.
    He saw the agony I was in and he chose to defuse..
    The explosion of emotions that you every day had me facing.
    When I was in pain, he was the one embracing."

    "Your bags are packed and youíre ready to leave
    Gun aimed at my heart and you hold it steady and squeeze
    Trying to destroy the advantages that our enemies seize
    They use our feelings against us and Love can kill with the deadliest ease
    Thatís why Iím telling you please"

    "What we had was utopia until the Master convened
    Now joy is an ideal and laughterís a dream
    Addicted to drama like Disasterís a fiend
    Canít support this house of love since pain is cracking the beams"

    The ending of unknowns last verse was deep

    Nice collabo

    Sincerely
    SinCeer




    | Posted on 2006-07-26 00:00:00 | by SinCeer05 | [ Reply to This ]
      hot damn, this reminded me of something R Kelly would compose. Ya'll spinned that s--t like it was going out of style. I think both of you flowed well together and made this into quite the song of the year. I smell a hit song here with this one. Great work!

    Catrina
    | Posted on 2006-09-08 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      wow this was different then most of the things i read.
    i relly liked the idea on how its 2 ppls pointsofview
    relly looking forward to reading more of ur work
    <3ash
    | Posted on 2006-07-26 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]


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