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    dots Submission Name: Volcanodots

    Author: annie0888
    ASL Info:    49/f/LA
    Elite Ratio:    4.76 - 327/382/122
    Words: 82
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1136
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 612


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Is there a clock
    inside you
    Ticking, tocking
    Waiting to stop?

    Is there a glass
    inside you
    Glittering, splintering
    Waiting to shatter?

    Is there an egg
    inside you
    Waking, aching
    Waiting to break?

    Is there a waltz
    inside you
    Spinning, whirling
    Waiting to uncurl?

    Is there a dream
    inside you
    Shivering, stirring
    Waiting to soar?

    There is a poem
    Inside you
    Foaming, rising
    Waiting to breathe.

    Submitted on 2006-07-26 08:21:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I expected the ending to be more powerful, but it did well by the poem. This was a non-assuming glance at the metaphors of writers and life, and I like how nothing seemed to be TOO literal. It was all rhetorical, and almost dream-like. I liked the egg metaphor. That was unexpected, yet it created the perfect tone for the poem. I also liked how there was no real volcanic metaphor, just hints. I could see where you got your title. Well done! I would be honored if you looked at and reviewed mty poetry.
    | Posted on 2006-07-28 00:00:00 | by Aetha Daemon | [ Reply to This ]
      We are a cauldron of metaphors, boiling over into poetic stew, becoming the feast at someone else's table. We erupt at times, sometimes we flow, and then there are those millennia where we sleep, cool, without a fire or even a spark.

    I love your questions and the answer. It gives rise to many possibilities for another poem, about clocks, glass, dance, eggs, or sleep. Hmmm...

    I guess you could say that this poem is inspiring, even though it just asks, and offers only one solution. If the intent was to arouse the poetic Vulcan, you have accomplished that. The crater now boils, thank you.


    | Posted on 2006-07-28 00:00:00 | by phil askew | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey Annie,

    There are so many things inside of us that it is difficult sometimes to know which one is which...But asking all these things and feeling those things creates poems and inspirations to make this world a better place and also to express whatever it is that is bothering us let it be good or bad. The fact remains that what we go through is not a one of a kind process. Other people have gone through that too. By expressin all these things in poetry brings out so much of understanding with one another that we are bonding and don't even know that it is happening.

    Your title was quite interesting as well as the way you have written it. It is simple, structured and up to the point. You have good tastes in words....
    Do take care...
    | Posted on 2006-07-26 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]
      Is there a clock
    inside you
    Ticking, tocking
    Waiting to stop?

    Is there a glass
    inside you
    Glittering, shivering
    Waiting to shatter?

    Is there a waltz
    inside you
    Swirling, twirling
    Waiting to uncurl?

    Is there an egg
    inside you
    Making, aching
    Waiting to break?

    Is there a sleep
    inside you
    Flipping, flopping
    Waiting to fall?

    Is there a poem
    inside you
    Foaming, rising
    Waiting to breathe?

    Hmmm... Whatever may be found inside us is most definitely what we live and what we write; it is our essence and motivation, if only for the moment. Of course, if we compress our passions/ goals/ motivations/ inspirations, they do tend to erupt like H- bombs. It is the wise (or at least, prudent) artist who's learned to listen to the muse.

    An interesting thought.
    Take care.
    | Posted on 2006-07-26 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]

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