This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -

Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Into His Hands I Commit My Soul

Author: angelfyre
ASL Info:    17/yes please/here
Elite Ratio:    4.07 - 254 /238 /76
Words: 184
Class/Type: Poetry /Longing
Total Views: 978
Average Vote:    1.0000
Bytes: 1215


I wish I was everything. Everything. I know...impossible...but I can always wish.

Into His Hands I Commit My Soul

Turn off the sun, master...if you will.
Try to know who I am.
Tidy your mind of external clutter.
Try to know who you are.
Touch your lonely mistress.
Try to know what you want.
Try to know why we're here.

Every man for themself.
Every woman for their man.
Eyes through a frosted glass.
Equality in love seems like such a reachable goal.
Envision my lover, bearing in his chest, an imperfect
Entity...trying to make him love fully.
Enslaved eternally.

Abate the air around you.
Ache with me, abuser.
Adopt how I feel...
Allow me to be your only affliction, only adoration.
Alien, tighten the invisible harness on me.
And tell me when you are ready for me to tighten yours.
Approach me with only obsession.

Race me to complacency.
Raise me to completeness.
Reckoner, return my rare reliance.
Recite nothing but truth through the fog.
Raped words reach my ears and break my tongue.
Reduce your distractions, if you can.
Romeo...note the refuge I take in your being.
r .. e .. l .. a .. t .. e

Submitted on 2006-07-26 20:37:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

Comments had me until the last line and then I lost it. What does the r... l...a...t...e mean? I'm very curious. Besides that my favourite stanza was the first it was full of delicious words I love the way your poetry sounds when i read it out loud so intense yet realistic. I especially enjoyed the subtle tones of domination with your reference to 'mistress' and 'abuser' it was a painful, intense, love, aching, need....thing. But please do fill me in on the last line. Love your work xx Jess (~Sunset)
| Posted on 2006-08-01 00:00:00 | by sunset | [ Reply to This ]
  Digging deeper till there is and understood foundation of mortar and solid freezing rock to stop you, I can't reach any further from this outlet, this pain consumes the occasionally activity, cause it must to survive the pain that being away from your heart for so long, can be.

Everything inside of you, everything that is telling you these things, these things you believe with all that you are, they are all right, completely real and natural feelings, I look at them and see them mirrored from my chest, where love was originally given completely and still is...god we must not scrape each other's skin looking for more when there is no greater height just so much isolation and infinite reach...I am a fool for everything I do...all of this
| Posted on 2006-07-26 00:00:00 | by Reckoner | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?