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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sympathy for a Prisonerdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ollie_wicked
    ASL Info:    27?FEarth
    Elite Ratio:    4.02 - 320/200/91
    Words: 222
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 884
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1470



    Description:
       i don't really like this one...but it did mean something to me a long time ago.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSympathy for a Prisonerdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Words could never have expressed my love.
    Words now cannot describe my sympathy.

    Sometimes I wish you had never met me.
    Oh how happy you would be.

    Never locked in a cage for my stupidity.
    Never shamed by those close from my lack of integrity.

    My youth seems like wasted life; spent.
    Convinced life was horible.
    Looking back it was taulerable.

    Look at all the lives i've ruined.
    What a mess i've made.

    I tried to tell you before.
    I was just troubles galore.

    I'm sure i looked ridiculus that day.
    Tears streaming down my face, hair in disarry.

    Tried to say i was the bad one.
    But the damage had been done.

    I'm sure you curse my name.
    All the alleged love gone down the drain.

    You'd just think i would just sleep and it would go away.
    I still await for that day.

    the day i forget.
    But i can't.
    You'll always be remembered.
    My dreams now dismembered
    with your touch, words, and face.
    They won't leave; i can't erase.
    your warm comforting embrace.

    The promise i made that day
    Will forever remain.
    It pains me to know that you're locked away.
    I tried to tell you i will always fuck up.
    I was the fuck up all along.




    Submitted on 2006-07-26 23:21:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Its a very good poem...one question. Did you really get someone locked up or did this just come from your head?
    | Posted on 2006-07-27 00:00:00 | by BloodtornAngel | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this one ^_^ it appeals to my emotions, the whole poem is good besides the capitals you have a lot of lower case I's other then that its good

    My fav part is:

    "You'll always be remembered.
    My dreams now dismembered
    with your touch, words, and face.
    They won't leave; i can't erase.
    your warm comforting embrace."

    It brings out you're emotions and helps the reader understand :)

    Good job

    -darkeveris
    | Posted on 2006-07-27 00:00:00 | by darkeveris | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    112277

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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