wow that was pretty good. just kinda remember to do like quotation marks if ur saying something or someone else is. but other wise you did good. and i know the feeling of wanting to just say "screw it" lol but good job!
that was a good peice but you need to make it a little more meaningful so you can let the reader know what you are wanting to tell them, plus, you need to work on grammer. Once you get into the rythem of writng and let it just flow, then I will read more of your peices, becuase I can see by just a little work you can make beutiful peices. keep it up